It’s Not All Mary Poppins

I was telling a group of mothers about the Cocktail Playdate outrage, the shocking reality of Mothers Who Drink.

They were all suitably horrified.

“Outrageous!” they fulminated.
“This can’t be allowed!”
“They can’t be allowed to get away with it!”
“Something Must be Done!”

Then we all put our heads together to figure out what WE, a group of loving, responsible, nurturing mothers, could do to rectify the injustice, to balance the scales, to Right the Wrong.

And we did it. It is BRILLIANT, I tell you. Utterly brilliant. It will test our ingenuity, stretch our creativity, expand our skills in the kitchen. All good qualities in Quality Mommies, wouldn’t you say?

We are going… oh, this is just so good! We are going to create the World’s Best Designer Drink, the creme de la creme of Momtinis.

We have a few possibilities so far. There has been some lively discussion as to the best base. Tequila is giving vodka a stiff challenge, and then there’s the whole wine contingent. There are strong opinions as to the preferability of tart over fruity, mint over lime, the merits of crushed ice vs cubes, tonic vs soda. There are so many choices!

In fact, we’re leaning to having a number of categories, because we all know that, just like our children, every Mommy is different and special. So perhaps a sweet/fruity concoction AND a tangy/sour one? A dessert coffee category? Drinks with bubbles and those without?

We’re hunting for just the right accessories. Because a true Momtini requires accessories - teeny umbrella too kitschy for you? How about coloured straws? How about ice cubes in the shape of teeny lego pieces? And to identify glasses? None of those little beaded wine glass charms for us, we’re using beaded diaper pins. Pink for mommies of girls, blue for mommies of boys. You can have as many as you have children.

You can join in, too! Would you like to? Send me your recipes, and my team of impartial, dedicated, professional Mothers will personally taste-test each one.

But wait. That’s a lot of work, even for a group as dedicated as my team. Why, then, why don’t you, in YOUR city, start your very own Cocktail Chapter? Maybe we could have regional entries - I’m sure all you southern mamas can come up with something cool and heady, and all we northern ones can manage something to warm us on cold winter nights. I’m sure there are maritime and Pacific specialties. (With apologies to all you Newfoundlanders, however, I don’t think anything based on screech can be called a ‘cocktail’.)

It can be the National Mommy Project of 2007! Heck, if Kat, Karyn, Jenny and Z want to get involved, it can be an International - a global! - Mommy Project.

You’ll have to come up with a name for your entry, but you can’t have mine. I’ve already got a name for our group’s not-yet-invented confection.

It will be named, pending approval of the appropriate authorities, “Surburban Bliss”.