By Nigel, age 2.
Today Mary gave us paint! One paintbrush each, and lots of green paint. Green is a pretty colour. Mary says that soon there will be stuff called “grass” and “leaves” outside and they will be green. I’m not so sure about that. Everyone knows outside is only white and gray. Sheesh.
I love to paint. It’s just so interesting. You hold the paintbrush – by the hard wooden end, not the bendy pokey end. You dip it in the paint – the bendy pokey end, not the hard wooden end. The bendy end picks up the paint. If you take too much, it drips on the table. If you don’t get enough, you don’t get any green on the paper. It’s tricky. Takes a lot of concentration.
But if you get just the right much of paint? Then you rub it on the paper – the wet, painty end. And it makes marks! All over the paper!
If this is interesting enough, you might decide to take a closer look at the wet, painty end of the brush. But be careful, or – OW. Maybe you’ll paint yourself right in the eye. This is not so much fun! Good thing Mary is there to wash it off. But only the stuff right in your eye. The rest can come off at bathtime tonight. Mary said so.
If you’re careful and look at the wet painty end right, you’ll only paint your right cheek and fill your ear with green paint. That doesn’t hurt at all!! It’s okay, Mary, that paint in my ear? It doesn’t bother me at all! Mary? Mary, you can STOP NOW! (Dripping on my shirt? But it doesn’t hurt! Can’t that come off at bathtime, too?)
And if it looks so good, I wonder what it tastes like?? Ugh. Not so good. No, it’s okay, Mary! I’m not going to do that again. I promise. You don’t need to wash my mouth. I said, you don’t need to! Stick out my tongue? What? So you can wipe it with that? I think not.
When you rub the wet painty end onto the paper, back and forth and back and forth. If you’re patient, you can make a hole right through the paper!!
Or you can poke the wet painty bit straight down onto the paper, and if you poke it hard enough, it makes green raindrops!
Or, you can get the bristly end really, really wet with paint, and then bang it on the edge of the table. More raindrops!
Or wave it around above your head. If the brush moves fast enough, you can make even more raindrops!
If you move the brush really, really fast? The raindrops will hit the wall!!!
If you fill up your paintbrush enough times, your painting will actually drip when Mary hangs it up!
Oh, look! There’s my mommy! Mommy, mommy, look at my painting! Pardon? “What did I make?” Pfft. Adults. So clueless. With all that fun going on, who needs to worry about making anything?