It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Duct Tape, Use # 253

The phone rings.

“I thought I’d give you the heads up on a new behaviour Darcy’s developed over the last couple of weeks,” his mother tells me, “and I didn’t want him overhearing the conversation. He’s been having his bowel movement during afternoon nap, and then he’s trying to take care of matters himself. He’s making the most disgusting messes everywhere, and his dad is ready to slaughter him. We just thought you’d better be forewarned.”

My words of wisdom are two.

“Duct tape,” I pronounce.

“Really?!” The relief in her voice is palpable. “I dreamt about that only last night, and woke up thinking, ‘I can’t really do that, can I?'”

One of my nicer roles: giving parents permission to do what they want to do. In this case, what they’ve dreamed of doing!

September 5, 2005 Posted by | Uncategorized | 14 Comments


I step out onto the back porch with a basket of wet laundry on my hip. A wolf-whistle cuts the air, and I look up to see my gay neighbour, Pierre, two doors up, waving at me from his yard.

“I know it’s a true compliment, coming from you,” I call over, “because I know you’re completely disinterested!”

He roars with laughter.

September 5, 2005 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Do You Have a License for that Child?

Check out this terrific post on Morphing into Mama. It manages to be funny, poignant, clever, and pointed in the space of 500 words or so. I laughed out loud and sighed ruefully within seconds. I particularly like the discussion of parenting instincts towards the end. So well done!

Excellent writing, and an excellent point as well. Good stuff.

September 5, 2005 Posted by | Uncategorized | 9 Comments