It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Let Me Make this one thing Perfectly Clear

Yesterday was one of those “Lord, give me strength” days with Harry. Here’s one example of many…

I send George and Darcy upstairs for a precautionary pre-park pee. Harry has been recently, so when he informs me,

“I don’t have to go pee,” I respond with a quick,

“Okay, Harry, I’ll trust you on that.”

“I won’t go upstairs,” he expands, “because I don’t need to use the toilet.”

Thinking he perhaps hadn’t understood my idiom, I explain myself. “It’s all right, Harry. I know you don’t need to pee. You don’t have to try again.”

“Because I don’t need to pee.”

“That’s right.” Phew. Glad we’ve sorted that one out.

“So I’m not going to go upstairs.”

“No, you’re not. We’re going to get our shoes on and go to the park.” Let’s move on to the next thing, think about the park, shall we?

As he sits to put on his sandals, he comments, “I already went pee, and I don’t have to go use the toilet.”

I give him a look. We have, as far as I’m concerned, thoroughly wrung every last ounce of entertainment value from this particular subject. I speak slowly and very, very clearly, my words weighted with meaning. “No. You’re not going upstairs, because you don’t need to pee. It’s all right, Harry. I understand.”

“I don’t have to go pee, so I’m not going to go up-”

All right, Harry!”

He subsides.

Today it’s making me laugh!!

September 16, 2005 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. I totally thought you were going to say that he had an accident at the park. You know, one of those “Methinks the boy doth protest too much” things.

    Comment by Sharkey | September 16, 2005 | Reply

  2. I did, too, Sharkey!

    Comment by misfit | September 16, 2005 | Reply

  3. Mary, I think I need a bathroom break after that one.

    At least you’re laughing now!

    Comment by ieatcrayonz | September 16, 2005 | Reply

  4. Oh dear god Mary you have described every single day of my life . . . if I had a dime for every time I have had that SAME conversation (but without the upstairs part, as we live in a ranch house) with Henry, I could buy most of the EU.


    Comment by Susan | September 16, 2005 | Reply

  5. Tod-lar starting to harp on things as Harry does. I’m often saying, “Tell me what I just said to you.” Usually he stops after that. Usually.

    Comment by MIM | September 16, 2005 | Reply

  6. Sharkey, Misfit: No, I knew he was safe. He had peed only a few minutes prior. Harry is just, er, methodical. Or thorough. Or perhaps he just likes the sound of his own voice…

    crayonz: I needed a stiff drink! Given that the parents would probably disapprove, though, I guess I’d have to have it in the bathroom. (Why does Mary take so many potty breaks, anyway?)

    Susan: LOL. If only there really were someone to hand out all those if-only dimes!! I’d be rivalling Mr. Gates by now.

    Mim: I do the same. With most children it works very well. Harry just incorporates it into his endless loop! “You just said…” he’ll tell me, “because I don’t have to go upstairs and …” sigh…

    Comment by Mary P. | September 16, 2005 | Reply

  7. Whew! I was on the same wavelength with Sharkey and Misfit…the only time my son really tells me “I don’t have to go” is a millisecond before he does…in his pants.
    Hmmmm…a flask in the bathroom? Quite a concept… ; )

    Comment by LoryKC | September 18, 2005 | Reply

  8. Lory: Ah, the old “I don’t have to pee–oops” kids. Now why would saying no matter more that staying dry? The contrariness of tots, huh?

    No flask in the bathroom, not really. Yet.

    Comment by Mary P. | September 19, 2005 | Reply

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