It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Beer Tales

The three-year-olds are chatting. George has a new, bright red hat, which starts this conversation:

“I don’t have my red hat anymore,” says Darcy, a little forlorn. “I lost it with my daddy in the beer store.” (Beer stores in Ontario are actually called this: The Beer Store. No point in being subtle.) Darcy did not lose daddy in the beer store. I saw daddy this morning. Just the hat.

Arthur chimes in. “Hey! I go to the beer store, too! With my daddy, too!”

George, it seems, is also familiar with the local purveyor of potables. “I go to the beer store with my daddy. We get the beer for mommy.”

“Yeah,” Artur notes. “My mommy likes beer, too.”

Mary can’t resist this one. “Gee. George’s mummy likes beer, and Arthur’s mummy, too. Does your mummy like beer, Darcy?”

“No, she only drinks Corona.”

(So all the mommies are belting back the brews. *hic* Wonder why?)

September 21, 2005 - Posted by | Arthur, Darcy, George, Mischief, parents, the things they say!


  1. With all the little ones around all day every day, I would imagine a brew would be a good topper for the madness for you, too! 🙂 I know I partake every once in a while myself after the kiddies have frayed every last nerve I have. That cracked me up, though – “she only drinks Corona.”…. aaaaHHHHAAAAA!!! That’s funny!

    Comment by Jill | September 21, 2005 | Reply

  2. “We get the beer for mommy” made me SNORT.

    Comment by misfit | September 21, 2005 | Reply

  3. Looks like Darcy’s a beer snob at the tender age of 3 — fantastic! You should show him ratebeer. 😉

    FWIW, my friends up there call the beer store the LCBO.

    Comment by aaron | September 21, 2005 | Reply

  4. Jill: I’m often torn. A nice glass (or bottle) of something would offer a nice peaceful interlude, but one needs all one’s wits about one for this job. Plus, the parents would be freaked if they smelled it on my breath!! LOL

    Misfit: I always like to know when I’ve had that effect!

    Aaron: I just knew that if you caught this one, you’d not be able to resist that! I think your friends are dating themselves. If I understand correctly, it used to be that the LCBO (Liquor Control Board of Ontario) controlled everything alcoholic, but in recent years, although you can still get beer at LCBO outlets, beer is also sold at The Beer Store, which sells beer exclusively.

    Comment by Mary P. | September 21, 2005 | Reply

  5. Not sure that beer is really strong enough….

    Although Mstr A, cursed with & 1st Aid tutor & H&S Officer for parents will point out to all adults he sees drinking that “alcohol is bad for you & makes you sick & makes you do silly things. ”

    I have so far resisted the temptation to inform him that he & his sisters were all a silly thing done due to alcohol:-)

    Comment by Mrs.Aginoth | September 21, 2005 | Reply

  6. I want to party with those mamas!

    Comment by Matthew | September 21, 2005 | Reply

  7. My kids think that the “Liquor Store” down the street is the “wine store.” Maybe we should start trying more beers!

    A conversation from last year:
    “Mom, can I try a sip of your wine?”
    (I’m thinking a sip of red wine will make my daughter turn up her nose, hate it and never ask again so I say: “OK, just a sip.”)
    She tastes it.
    “Yum! I like it! Now this will make me thirsty for coffee in the morning.”

    (Bad Mommy!)

    Comment by LoryKC | September 21, 2005 | Reply

  8. Is everybody’s blog turning to drinking this week? (I’m thinking of MIM’s.)

    At a college reunion in June, Clare took a swig of beer while nobody was watching. We had to pry the cup from her hands. Given my comments and posts in the past week I’m sure that everyone now thinks I’m a bad father.

    Comment by Clare's Dad | September 21, 2005 | Reply

  9. Mrs. A: “Silly thing done due to alcohol”. LOL I had a neighbour with four little boys, two of whom were born the first week of October, both the result of a silly thing done due to alcohol on New Year’s Eve!

    Matthew: No, no, no. Andrea gets to do that partying. You just take the twins and go buy the beer.

    Lory: “Now this will make me thirsty for coffee in the morning?” Methinks the girl was gleefully viewing this as the thin edge of the wedge for all the rest of the grown-up goodies! Canny, isn’t she?

    Clare’s dad: I’ve noticed that small children often like beer, while they dislike wine. Lory’s daughter being the exception to this rule.

    There’s a story in my family of how my uncle, age four, surreptitiously went around draining the dregs from various glasses at a party his parents were throwing. They only realized what he’d been up to when he started reeling across the living room!

    No one was mortified. My gran thought it was hysterical!

    Comment by Mary P. | September 22, 2005 | Reply

  10. My sons are dying to go to the ‘beer store’ with their daddy, but as Oklahoma has draconian laws about NO PERSON UNDER THE AGE OF 21 setting foot in the liquor selling establishment, they cannot.

    BUT–Henry can do the math and tell us how many years until they can! Who says alcohol isn’t educational?

    Comment by Susan | September 22, 2005 | Reply

  11. I will never forget when we went to Home Depot this summer with the girls in tow. They had huge displays of bottled water in the main aisle near the registers. Ella screamed so the whole store could hear, “DADDY! You need to get some of this beer!” It was 8AM to boot…

    Comment by Misfit Hausfrau | September 22, 2005 | Reply

  12. That is soooo funny!

    Everytime we’re at the market in the beer aisle, Tod-lar yells, “Dada, Dada!” while pointing directly at the beer. Whenver we buy wine, Tod-lar exclaims, “Mama’s drink.” I now wear a hat that covers most of my face when shopping.

    Comment by MIM | September 22, 2005 | Reply

  13. Susan: And if you order wine with your meal in a restaurant, do your children have to sit at a different table? And will all that anticipation encourage temperance or bacchic festivities come the magical 21?

    Hausfrau: Awww. Isn’t it sweet the way they love to be helpful??

    mim: At least it’s not “Mama’s medicine”. Then you’d have to switch the hat for a brown paper bag.

    Comment by Mary P. | September 22, 2005 | Reply

  14. I knew I wasn’t phrasing that right–no, we can have the kids in a restaurant that serves alcohol (THANK GOD for that) and can drink with them at the table (again, THANK GOD), but they cannot go into the liquor store. Not even a baby in a carrier. NO ONE under 21 (cause who knows what that might lead to).

    So I leave them in the car. Joking! Joking! Actually I call my husband and say, ‘STOP AT THE BEER STORE OR ELSE’ and he does. Charming man.

    Comment by Susan | September 22, 2005 | Reply

  15. Heehee… I was just being sarcastic about the restaurants. It’s a good thing your husband has his priorities straight! Charming, indeed.

    Comment by Mary P. | September 23, 2005 | Reply

  16. Tasty blog! Please check out my red red wine blog.

    Comment by Steve Austin | October 2, 2005 | Reply

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