Vocabulary

Elegant Cat wanders by. Zach greets him with enthusiasm.

“Hello, Pissycat!”

You know, I don’t think he’s so far off…

Honesty

“The crayons go in this box. When you’re done with a crayon, you put it in this box. Understand?”

“Jeremy’s name starts with a J. And Josie!”

“You don’t listen to a thing I say, do you?”

“No.”

Excremental Vision

The above title makes reference to a series of lectures I attended in university, “Swift’s Excremental Vision” focussing on Gulliver’s Travels in particular. In truth, when the long-suffering professor could be heard over the adolescent sniggering of the 19 and 20 year olds in front of her, she had some interesting things to say on the subject. My tykes may be years – decades, even – before they reach such exulted heights of learning, but they are preparing for it with gusto!

We’ve been singing a lot lately, but in addition to the nice little children’s ditties I teach them, they’ve been doing a lot of improvisation. Bob the Builder’s theme song is a particular favourite.

So far this week, we’ve heard,

“Bo-ob the builder! Can we fix it? No. We. Can’t!” (Okay, so that’s not excremental humour, but I like it, even though I know I’ve blogged on it before.)

Then there’s, “Bob the builder! Can we pee-pee? Yes, we can!” I like it: potty-positive singing.

And of course, “Bob the builder! Can we poo-poo? Yes, we can!” Only fair to give both functions equal time.

Or this variation, “Bob the builder! Can we fix it? No, we poo!” I don’t quite get it, but Darcy practically pees himself over this one. Which is in keeping with the theme, after all.

Darcy’s ultimate, not-to-be-superceded contribution to this theme was the tuneless little ditty he produced while leaning over the arm of the loveseat. Er – sorry Darcy – the side of the boat. Looking down into the “water” that was my living room floor, he carolled away, “There’s water down there! There’s pee and poop and barf and snot down there.” Some days, he wouldn’t be too far off. Darcy has a finely honed excremental vision.

Sounds much classier than “potty humour”, doesn’t it?