It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Bait and Switch

Little Zach has an airplane obsession. All day, every day, planes, planes, planes.

Imagine his excitement, when, during our Christmas party with all the mommies and daddies right there in my house, his dada pulls out this great book with several pages, in the very first volume, dedicated entirely to airplanes!!! “Mary, Mary, yook! Ah-panes! Momma, dada, ah-panes!” I mean, really! How thrilling is that???

So thrilling that he decides it would pay to investigate that particular shelf of reference books, hitherto completely ignored, a little further. Who knows what delights might await? He grabs another book, waves it under daddy’s nose. “Read me dis one, dada! Dis book!”

Dad takes a look, snorts his wine elegantly out his nose. “Maybe in a few years, sport”, and hands it off to me. Quick like a bunny, dada grabs Volume A once more. “Hey, how about let’s look at those airplanes again!!”

I did mention that all the mommies and daddies were there, right?

December 27, 2005 - Posted by | books, Mischief, random and odd, sex, Zach


  1. Jeez, Mary! What’re you running over there? A sex shop? First the kids were playing with that “massager” and now this!

    Comment by MIM | December 27, 2005 | Reply

  2. FYI: I keep books of this nature on a shelf upstairs, where the daycare children never go unattended. That shelf is there so that my children, who are old enough to want/need access to good information but may not want to ask mum direct about it, can get to it.

    Seems someone had had a look and then (why? feeling lazy? surprised by an adult and feeling shy?) had hidden it on the shelf downstairs, along with the encylopedia and dictionaries. Which is, I further add, in an entirely different room than the shelves of bright, kiddy-appropriate board books.

    It’s that overlap of realities that sometimes happens when there are teens and tots in the same house!

    Comment by Mary P. | December 27, 2005 | Reply

  3. I was wondering if you hid the massager inside the book so you’d be sure to remember where it was.

    We are so evil, we “ladies”.

    Comment by Granny | December 27, 2005 | Reply

  4. THE *clitoral* TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!!!

    Comment by kimmyk | December 27, 2005 | Reply

  5. Only $10.36 on

    Hey, if you purchase The Clitoral Truth and The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus, you only pay $20.53!

    You can place them right next to Dr. Seuss’ “Oh the places you’ll go!” on the bookshelf. =)

    Comment by Matthew | December 28, 2005 | Reply

  6. Classic!

    Comment by Andie D. | December 28, 2005 | Reply

  7. oh my! i daresay, little zach may have THAT obsession one day as well!

    Comment by kyra | December 28, 2005 | Reply

  8. Granny: What a good idea! A hollow book! Yes, we are evil. Evil and, for me at least, disorganized… If I had a smidge of prudery in me, which, thank goodness, I don’t, I’d be mortified. Without that, it was just funny!

    Kimmyk: Woo-hoo. If not entirely free, at least have you flying from time to time.

    Matthew: “Oh, The Places You’ll Go.” Very clever.

    (I was tempted to make some clever comment about having no need of that second book round here, but that would probably be TMI.)

    Andie: If I were just a bit more observant and organized, things like this wouldn’t happen. And think of what I’d miss!!

    Kyra: LOL He is male, after all. We can hope, for the future women in his life, this particular organ does prove to be of interest!

    Comment by Mary P. | December 29, 2005 | Reply

  9. Wow… I wish my husband had stumbled onto a book like that when he was a tot…

    Comment by L. | December 29, 2005 | Reply

  10. Gee, L, I’m not sure what to say. Do you want to borrow my copy to leave lying around?? Course, if your house is anything like mine, it’ll only show up at a time sure to induce wine-snorting.

    Comment by Mary P. | December 29, 2005 | Reply

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