It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Progress Report

This morning I put on my own socks!!! This afternoon, I sat, on a stool, for twelve minutes!!

I am so excited.

January 22, 2006 Posted by | commemoration, the dark side | 3 Comments

Romantic Meme

Queen Bee tagged me on Thursday. Here we go!

1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.

2. Need to mention the sex of the target.

3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they’ve been tagged.

4. If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again.

Sex: male

Eight characteristics of my perfect lover. (Not that I believe such a thing exists…)

Let me think. Physical characteristics are generally unimportant. I tend to particularly love the aspects of my special man because they’re particular to him. So if he’s my height, I love that I can make eye contact with him; if he were tall, I’d love that I fit so neatly under his arm. I actively love attributes that are not in the “good looking” category – a particular stoop of the shoulders, say, or a bit of a round tummy – because they are “him”. Except weight: He doesn’t have to be buff and hollywood perfect, (I’m certainly not!), but obesity is a huge turn-off.

1. Conversation, for me, is the life-blood of a relationship. He must, must, must be able to converse. This means talking and listening, sharing ideas, building concepts together. I see conversation as a shared creative act, not a mere matter of taking anecdotal turns. This also means he must be at least as intelligent as me.

2. Be emotionally aware and able to speak intelligently of his feelings. (For many years I thought this was simply fantasy, something I could only get from female friends. To my utter delight, I have discovered that there is one such man on the planet!)

3. Be able to disagree respectfully. He must believe, as I do, that conflicts, handled properly, are portals to a closer relationship.

4. Be capable of nurturing. (Me, children, fuzzy bunnies…) Not that I need or want a daddy instead of a partner, but everyone likes to be nurtured from time to time.

5. Be respectful of me and my strengths. Be aware of my weaknesses without contempt.

6. Be able to laugh at himself.

7. Love me to distraction.

8. Be able and willing to hold his own in a conflict when needful, but deplore violence.

You know what? I’ve found all these. All in the same man! Took me twelve years in an increasingly bad marriage, and a little exploration along the way, but I’ve landed with the perfect man for me. I am so lucky.

As for who I’ll tag, I’ll do this the way I always do these things: if you want to do this one, just let me know in the comments section, and we’ll all troop over to your place and check it out!

January 22, 2006 Posted by | memes and quizzes | 6 Comments

While I Was Researching…

Picture me industriously preparing a couple of posts on how to get your toddlers to eat vegetables. It’s by way of a public service, don’t you know. I was googling for pictures to accompany the text, make it bright and yummy. Have you ever noticed how, when you’re researching one thing, you tend to pick up odd bits of information on peripherally related topics along the way?

Take baby carrots, for example. Have you ever wondered where they come from? I mean, I’ve grown carrots, and I’ve never produced weeny little stumpy baby carrots. Even if the soil’s not prepared properly and you get short ones, they’re never that small! So where do these things come from? It’s a puzzler, no doubt.

Well, puzzle no more, because I have found the solution!

And that, my friends, was post number four hundred!
Well worth the wait, I’m sure.

(If you click on the picture, it will take you to the website where I found it, which has about a gazillion vegetable recipes.)

January 21, 2006 Posted by | food, random and odd | 5 Comments


Went to bed, there was moderate snow out there. Woke up this morning to an exuberance of snow. Look at this! Look right…

Look left…

Gorgeous, isn’t it? What the pictures don’t show is how heavily it’s still coming down, though it’s suggested by the mistiness in the distance, which is not mist, but merely billions of fine flakes. Here’s a better indicator: See these steps?

We shovelled them an hour ago.
(Er, that would be the Royal “We”, and Stephen is a prince!)

January 21, 2006 Posted by | Ottawa, outings | 11 Comments

What’s Up With Me this Week, Anyway?

For those of you who are wondering what has become of me this week:

I am continuing to keep up my space here, obviously, though much of what you’ve read in recent days was written long ago. I am not, however, managing my usual rounds of visits to see all you nice people.

Here’s the explanation, which I’m hoping will be simply information and not a whine! I have, it turns out, a “bulging disk”. Well, that’s what the physiotherapist called it; she makes a distinction between bulging and herniated, but not all experts do. You can call it bulging, you can call it herniated – point is, it hurts! This accounts for the lower back pain and the greatly restricted movements. (I can’t put on my own socks! Thank you, Q, for saving me from barefoot frozen feet…) The disk is impinging on the sciatic nerve, which accounts for the pain down my right leg.

I cannot sit for more than a few minutes. I cannot stand still for long, either. I can walk, though gimpily, with the right leg dragging a bit, but not far before the leg pains start. What I can do – and the physiotherapist has even presribed it – is lay on my tummy on the floor. The exercises she’s given me afford me about half an hour of pain-free living. A sound investment of 20 minutes, I figure.

So the last couple of days have comprised of 20 minutes of exercise followed by 30 minutes or so of upright living. Part of the “exercise” is simply to prop myself up on my elbows and let my back droop. Guess what? I can TYPE while I do that!! Oh, happy day!

Oh, how I love my laptop! Without it I’d be bereft of blogging, and though I’ve also consumed a fair number of books this week (finished Quirky Kids, Susan!), one does value a bit of variety.

How have I done this with the tots about? Well, I haven’t. I took Thursday and Friday off sick, and will return to the fray on Monday. I have lined up backup for the mornings of next week. My son, Adam, who is having exams, graciously offered – offered! what a lovely boy – to help out. A friend will help one day, and Emma will get to stay home from school one day. I’m hoping that by the following week I will be able to work on my own.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

January 21, 2006 Posted by | random and odd, the dark side | 5 Comments

Ain’t We Got Fun?

Arthur is cheerleading.

“Are we goin-na puh-lay?!?” Great enthusiasm.

George, Darcy, and Zach pick up on his tone.


“Are we goin-na fun-to-have??!?”


“Are we goin-na laugh and jump?!??!?”


The crowd is sufficiently revved. Arthur smiles upon them.

“Well, here you GOOOOoooo!”

And into each waiting hand he deposits a tiny piece of cold cooked green bean.


January 19, 2006 Posted by | food, quirks and quirkiness, random and odd, the things they say! | 15 Comments

I Think I Liked Poo Better

Remember how fixated we all were on poo not that long ago? I’m a little nervous we’ve found a new focus for our prurient inclinations, and I’m hoping it doesn’t stick around as long as the poo did. So to speak.

George is singing.

“Yankee Doodle went to town,
A riding on his pony.
Stuck his penis in his hat,
And called it macaroni!”

To which Darcy responds: “Stick your penis up your NOSE!”


And thus begins the life-long fascination…

January 18, 2006 Posted by | Developmental stuff, Mischief, sex, the cuteness! | 17 Comments

Work-Related Accident, Update

Apparently my ruse of not telling the parents has proven futile, at least in the case of Arthur’s parents. Well, I had told Arthur’s dad, who has had a few back problems of his own, and he’d given me the name of a physiotherapist, though not, as it happens, the one I actually saw.

As I’m waving Arthur goodbye, a neighbour calls out from his porch to ask how I’m doing. “Not so great. Had a work-related accident.”

“Oh, yes?”

“Tripped over a baby gate.”

We all laugh. Ho, ho, ho. I am so funny.

Arthur’s mum looks up at me. “Is this the cleaned-up version?”

“Nope. That’s what happened.”

“Because Arthur’s been telling us you tripped over the baby.”

Well, thanks a helluva lot, Arthur.

“No, I did not. He trips over the baby. I do not.”

More laughter. Ho, ho, ho bloody ho…

Glad we sorted that out…

January 17, 2006 Posted by | Mischief, the dark side, the things they say! | 11 Comments

Where’s the Glamour? I Demand Glamour!

The elderly man in the waiting room at the physiotherapist’s this afternoon watched as I gingerly eased myself into the chair and sighed my way slowly down to my bootlaces.

“Done your back in, have you?” His voice is sympathetic, a fellow-sufferer.

“Yes, it seems I have.” Maintaining the perfect posture I have practiced all week, I walk across the room then place my boots on the mat by dint of doing very deep knee-bends while keeping that back very, very straight. When I get as low as my quaking thighs will allow, which is far lower than I could a week ago, (this would be my silver lining) I drop the boots from my fingertips. Two points for a straight landing. I am getting very good at this.

“A sports injury, was it?”

Well. What a wonderful old fellow he is, yes he is. Sports injury? Uh-huh. Young and spry, I am. The only reason I’m moving like a woman of eighty-two is that little incident I had while pole-vaulting last weekend. Yes, indeed. I like this. I like this man. This kind and perceptive man. He returns my smile, probably a bit bemused by its enthusiasm. Sadly, honesty compels me to disillusion him.

“Nothing so glamourous, no. In fact, I tripped over the baby gate while carrying a basket of laundry.”

He winces appreciatively, and so do I. He’s thinking of the pain. I’m thinking of the lack of cachet. Baby gates and laundry baskets are not in the same league as “sports injury”. The sad truth is that in my line of work, stubbing your toes and bruising your shins on a baby gate as your legs stop dead in the kitchen, followed by wrenching your lower back as your torso plunges into the dining room, your body coming to an abrupt and muscle-searing stop when your arms slam the laundry basket down onto the dining room floor, while your butt forms the dramatic apex of your not-so-graceful descent in the air over said baby gate — the pathetic truth is that in my line of work, this ridiculous event constitutes a work-related injury.

But if anyone asks, it was the pole-vaulting.

January 17, 2006 Posted by | the dark side | 16 Comments

Zach Tries it on for Size

We have our juice – lots and lots of pee-producing liquids! We have our airplanes for potty play, and a teddy for company. We have a book. We have a co-operative kid, and Smarties to encourage co-operation.

What we don’t have yet is any pee.

But, I must say this again: we have a co-operative kid! So far, so good!

January 16, 2006 Posted by | potty tales | 13 Comments