Couth? You Want Couth?

Well, you won’t find it here.

George and Darcy are skipping round in small, thunderous circles. Skipping is the wrong word, really, belonging as it does in the same category as “frolic”, “lyrical”, “diaphanous”. Brings to mind fields full of buttercups inhabited by fluffy bunnies and those ladies all dressed in white from the sanitary napkin commercials. The boys’ version of “skipping” is more related to “thud”, “gallumph”, and “ponderous”, and conjures up something entirely more earthbound than ladies in white eyelet.

So.

The boys are skipping, and as they skip, Darcy, showing remarkable ability to fit music to event, sings:

“SWING your partner round and round!
BLOW a fart and knock them down!”

Apropos, no?

If You Want Your Caregiver to Hate you and Your Child, part 2

…or, you could send him with one of THESE!!!!

You’d think the whistles would be worse, but given their general ineptitude with the whistles – they tended to wrap their lips right over the hole, thus muting themselves – and their unparalleled skill at hammering, this was much, much louder. And, no, it wasn’t in the slightest musical.

With a few guidelines (no more than two kids at a time, and only one finger on each hand per kid) it was tolerable, but really. What are they thinking?

Tip to all you nice mommies and daddies out there: ASK before sending noisy toys to daycare!

Sheesh.