It’s Not All Mary Poppins

It’s Not What You Think!!

George stands in front of the loveseat. His back is to the room, the cushion of the couch at his hip level. There is no toy on the couch in front of him, nothing that I can see to keep him where he is, and yet he’s intently focussed on his task, which seems to be…

…thrusting his pelvis repeatedly and rhythmically against the cushion.


Now, I’m an adult, with adult perceptions and sensibilities. I am also just not one to get all squeamish about this stuff. He is an innocent four-year-old boy. It may not be what it looks like. However. I have seen innocent four-month-old boys playing gleefully with their apparatus. Innocence doesn’t prevent you from enjoying the feeling: innocence only means the child is completely unaware of the significance of the feeling. Innocence means, frankly, that a small boy will blissfully masturbate anywhere.

“Hey, George, what’cha doing?” Tone of voice very casual. Just checking in, and if he is doing what I think he’s doing, I’m really curious as to what his answer will be.

“I’m trying” – grunt, shove – “to push” – grunt – “the cushion” – gasp – “back onto the couch.” Because he’s right, you know, the cushion is jutting out an extra few inches further than it should.

All right then. Have at it, George.

May 3, 2006 Posted by | Uncategorized | 12 Comments


Katie arrived late today. Katie has arrived late every day this week, but today was the latest ever – 9:45. Dad dropped her off in a flurry of apologies and explanations. She’s had a cold, and it’s making her sleep late, you see. Today she slept past 8:00.

“Luckily,” he says, “I have an extraordinarily flexible employer.”

I am so professional. I laughed only after he was gone…

May 3, 2006 Posted by | daycare, the dark side | 12 Comments