It’s Not All Mary Poppins

That’ll Learn Me

Some years back, I was sitting peaceably in church, in a nice mid-central pew, with my peaceful baby in my arms. Suddenly Emma decided she was starving, and must be fed. That instant. So I left my pew and retreated to a corner at the back of the sanctuary, hoping to feed the child in privacy without having to descend to the nursery. (Being claustrophobic, crowded basement rooms are not my favourite places.) A small girl, about 4, child of a friend, slipped off the pew and followed me.

I proceed to feed.

“What are you doing?” asks small girl.

“Feeding my baby. There’s milk in my breasts for the baby to drink.” I knew her mother would be fine with her child getting this information: small girl was the youngest of four, all of whom had been breastfed for over a year. Her older siblings wouldn’t have needed to ask the question!

She accepted this information with only a sage nod for comment, and watched baby Emma gulp and sigh. After a while, I burped Emma, explained this process to my small audience, then switched her to the other side.

“Why are you putting her on the other one?”

“Well, she’s had her lunch, you see, and now she’s having dessert. THIS side has the chocolate milk.” (Hear my adult smirking. I am so clever, me and my inside jokes. Bwah-ha.)

Again with the sage nod from girlchild.

After church, her mother approaches. Suddenly all the child’s calm sagacity vanishes and full small-child enthusiasm bubbles up as she races up the aisle towards mummy.

“HEY, MUMMY!” she calls out across the sanctuary in her high, piping, oh-so-carrying four-year-old voice. “GUESS WHAT? MRS P. HAS A CHOCOLATE BOOBY!!!”

© 2006, Mary P

August 26, 2006 - Posted by | Mischief, random and odd, the things they say!


  1. That picture is making my mouth water! But, uh, I think I’ll have my chocolate milk the old-fashioned way. 🙂

    Comment by Kat O+ | August 26, 2006 | Reply

  2. Is that why at honey’s ripe old age of 36 he’s always tugging on my boobs?

    All I can hear is that stupid song “My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard”…..argghh!

    Comment by kimmyk | August 26, 2006 | Reply

  3. One of my favourite memories of breastfeeding is the look on the face of my friend’s four-year-old daughter as she watched: total admiration and awe as she exclaimed, “The baby’s drinking from your own breast!” I see a La Leche League team leader in the making!

    I’ve made many a chocolate-milk joke in my time as well (a combination of chocolate addiction and two very fat babies).

    Comment by bubandpie | August 26, 2006 | Reply

  4. I love this story. Even though I’ve heard it many times, it never makes me not laugh. I just wish I remembered it first hand, but I imagine I was in Sunday school at the time.

    Comment by Haley | August 26, 2006 | Reply

  5. I have a chocolate booby too.

    Comment by Jenorama | August 26, 2006 | Reply

  6. yikes duly noted. this is an active issue for me

    Comment by mo-wo | August 26, 2006 | Reply

  7. What a great chuckle that one was! A chocolate booby. And all for a four-year old to announce to the entire sanctuary! Classic!

    Comment by Jennifer | August 27, 2006 | Reply

  8. Too funny. Thanks for the giggles.

    Comment by julia | August 28, 2006 | Reply

  9. That rocks. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

    Comment by KEP | August 28, 2006 | Reply

  10. Too funny! We call ours booby juice. I can only imagine what people think when Ian informs people that Laurel drinks booby juice.

    Comment by Mamacita Tina | August 29, 2006 | Reply

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