It’s Not All Mary Poppins

The Perils of Peri-Toddlerhood

It’s the end of a long day at Mary’s house. Timmy sports a bruise above his right eye. Anna has two: one above her left eye, and one dead centre in her forehead.

They’re at that tumble-prone stage: just leaving the cruising behind, and just starting with those very first steps. When they fall, they lead with their heads, poor mites, just as you would if your head weighed forty or so pounds. (Which it would if we maintained the same proportions to adulthood.)

I’m self-conscious when I take them out, apparent twins with their twinned bruised and battered heads. Thank goodness I can say in perfect accuracy these three essential truths:

“No, they’re not mine.”

“No, they’re not twins.”

And most importantly,

“They got the bumps at home.”


© 2006, Mary P

October 23, 2006 - Posted by | outings, the dark side


  1. ah-ha. M took a header into a door today as well…maybe the planet is tilted just enough for only the little ones to take notice.

    Comment by jen | October 23, 2006 | Reply

  2. Oh I remember those days.

    Unfortunately, they were mine and they did them at home.

    Broken bones, stitches…the ER knew me. It’s a wonder childrens services never came to visit me.

    Comment by kimmyk | October 23, 2006 | Reply

  3. Pumpkinpie used to share a nanny with a little boy who who about a year older and very prone to landing on his forehead when he fell. Fortunately Pumpkinpie was generally a knee-faller and sported lots of those, but they seem more expected. She has only fallen down face-first with bruising once. Of course, it was over the edge of a sandbox onto concrete, so then we were on concussion watch…

    Comment by kittenpie | October 23, 2006 | Reply

  4. The girls are finally mostly out of headbanging and into knee scabbing.

    I finally gave up on knee and elbow pads. They’re scattered all over the neighborhood. Finally figured I survived without them and as long as they remember helmets they’ll be okay.

    I buy bandaids in boxes of 60.

    Comment by Granny | October 24, 2006 | Reply

  5. LOL!

    And then there’s the “when did you get that scratch?” moment. I’m sure those are going to be more and more frequent for us here.

    Comment by Lady M | October 24, 2006 | Reply

  6. I remember going out for a walk with my mother & sisters in the pram, in high summer, and she had to say, yes they are mine, yes they are twins, and yes they did do it at home to all the outraged grannies who saw two beautiful blond girls sporting enormous purple black eyes:-) She always said if it happened in wintertime it wouldn’t have been so bad as she could have hidden them under hats etc:-)

    Comment by Juggling Mother | October 24, 2006 | Reply

  7. I used to think that “I walked into a door” was the stupidest excuse possible to hide domestic violence – after all, who walks into a door? Then (you guessed it) I did exactly that. After the pain subsided my very first thought was, “I am never going to be able to tell anybody how I got this bruise”. I thought it was ironic, having to lie about walking into a door.

    Comment by chosha | October 26, 2006 | Reply

  8. My poor Laurel’s forehead is a black and blue jumble. She always seems to be looking down as she falls, and I’m ever so grateful nothing has hit her eyes.

    Comment by Mamacita Tina | October 27, 2006 | Reply

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