It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Pregnancy Humour, or It Doesn’t Take Much to Amuse when your Mind is Flooded by Hormones…

Laura (Mommapalooza) was musing on some pregnancy memories, and got me thinking back (waaay back) to my first pregnancy, when the hormones and all that extra blood flow to the brain had my creativity charged to monumental new peaks. My creativity, and a bunch of other bits.

You know the Fred Penner song called “The Bump”? It’s a lively little ditty which starts out,

I’m a bump, ba-bump, ba-bump, bump,
In the middle of the prairie.

Being the exceptionally creative momma that I was, I saw huge potential there. Huge! Soon we were serenading our wee (and eventually not so wee) bump with,

You’re a bump, ba-bump, ba-bump, bump,
In the middle of your mummy!”

See? See how honed was the wit and creativity? It amused us, drunk as we were with anticipation (and perhaps a little terror). But the razor-sharp wit didn’t stop here. Not at all. The next line introduces a new theme…

“The land around is flat, flat, flat.”

The wit, it knows no bounds. See, when I was fifteen I was all prairie, and firmly convinced I’d be prairie forever. Caused me no little adolescent angst. By late sixteen, I’d moved west, achieved the foothills. A nice place to be. During pregnancies, however, the topography became downright mountainous. (Nature. She has a twisted sense of humour or a keen sense of the ridiculous.) Sooo…

“The land around ain’t flat, flat, flat.” Falling-down funny, that was.

“I’m a bump that no one sees,
Just a bump that no one sees.”

Which was true for the first trimester, but had us in stitches by the last. Yes, the joke lasted the entire pregnancy. Because it was just So Funny, don’t you know. And because we were just So Smart and Witty and Creative. Fun times.

How about you? Any fond memories of pregnancy goofiness?

© 2006, Mary P

November 16, 2006 - Posted by | my kids, parenting, pregnancy and delivery


  1. Maybe it’s just me, or that I’m a guy, but I’m scared…

    Comment by Perichoresis | November 16, 2006 | Reply

  2. ok, this will probably scare you more but here goes…

    my daughter (now 2) was born in boston during the last games of the world series that they eventually won — first time in 86 years or some such. combine this with a new baby, breastfeeding mom, and punchy but supportive husband and you get the following (sung to the tune of “take me out to the ballgame”):

    take me out to the breastfeed
    take me out to the boob
    buy me some colostrum and milky milk
    i don’t care if your shirt’s made of silk
    for it’s root, root root for the nipple
    if you’ve made plans it’s a shame
    cause it’s one, two, three sucks then breathe
    in the breast feed game!

    Comment by Anonymous | November 16, 2006 | Reply

  3. Ok, for me it was voguing for my husband in the “Demi Moore” pose (oh, you know you did it, too!), which by the end of the pregancy was downright frightening.

    I was also Hilarious, however: I would constantly open my eyes wide and suck in my breath and when my adorably concerned spouse would look up, I’d say “I think I have a BABY in my belly!” Sometimes if I was feeling Really Really Funny, I’d say it in the Fat Bastard voice (from Austin Powers).

    ((crickets chirping))

    Yeah, he never thought it was funny either.

    Comment by stefanierj | November 16, 2006 | Reply

  4. Stefanie, you had me laughing so hard my kids came running in to see what was so funny.

    I can’t remember anything funny from my pregnancies. Probably because I was too ill to see any humor in the situation.

    Comment by Candace | November 16, 2006 | Reply

  5. Oh yes!!! The past April I could be found at anytime singing the Beatles’ “Yesterday” – a rendition for the parturitionally challenged…

    won’t you please come to an end finally
    lets get on the way to maternity
    oh, mummy I will be eventually

    I am twice the woman I used to be
    Little life is growing inside of me
    oh, my belly grew so enormously

    Oh, how long can this go on,
    an elephant I’m soon to be
    I say “get a move on”
    cervix let the little bugger free-ee-ee-ee

    just how long can you keep avoiding me
    I am on the verge of insanity
    oh, pregnancy lasts an eternity

    Oh, I just can’t go on
    it’s time to drop and pop
    I’m ready to shed some pounds
    Oh, uterus help me plea-ea-ea-ease

    you’re nothing like I thought you’d be
    you should have bloody ended already
    Oh, never-ending infirmity


    Comment by Lauren | November 16, 2006 | Reply

  6. Perichoresis: Pregnancy is a weird time of life. Scary? Some parts – but not this bit! LOL

    I’ll bet it’s not so much that you’re a guy (though I further bet it’s a contributor), but that you’re young. When someone you care about is pregnant, one day down the road when you’re ready, it’ll feel different.

    (So, are you a divinity/theology student, with a handle like that?)

    Anonymous: Where, where, where have I seen that before? YOU are not anonymous. I know I know you…

    I screamed with laughter at that “root, root, root” line the first time I saw it (and I commented on it, too) and it’s still funny!

    Stefanierj: No, I didn’t, but mostly because I was pregnant long before Demi. And because my then husband turned out to be weirdly prudish about stuff like that. *sigh*

    “I think I have a BABY…” Yup. Hormonally-induced humour, funny only to the homonally-swamped mind… I thought it was funny – but maybe that’s because I’ve been pregnant three times…

    Candace: Sorry to hear your pregnancies were so difficult. We all know the dreary, uncomfortable bits, but what a pity you missed out on much of the giddy, fun bits! Still, it’s only a small bit of your life, all in all, and C & S are obviously well worth it!

    Lauren: Wow! That’s quite the song – catches the end-of-pregnancy impatience to a ‘T’. You win the “Goofy Ballad” category by a mile! (Sir Paul would be proud, I’m sure. As you probably know, that song started out as ‘Scrambled Eggs’. I’d say ‘Pregnancy’ is a step up.)

    Heh. My husband just left for work, humming “Yesterday”. He’ll thank us for that by the end of the day, I’m sure.

    Comment by Mary P. | November 17, 2006 | Reply

  7. I can’t remember any goofiness, but I am still on my first cup of coffee.

    Comment by Jenorama | November 17, 2006 | Reply

  8. We were more affected by post-partum goofiness. We came up with all sorts of renditions of songs to amuse our little ones, as well as a few new ones:

    There was a little baby boy and Gio was his name, Oh!
    I, Giovanni Fanucchi!

    and the ever popular,

    Dante, Dante, Dante,
    My Dante, Dante Do.
    Oh, my little Dante,
    I love you,
    My Dante, Dante Do.

    (His nickname still tends to be Dante Do and Doodles.)

    Oh my children. We had many more and funny how they loooove singing.

    Comment by twoboysmom | November 17, 2006 | Reply

  9. Alas, I don’t have the knack for making up whimsical songs 😦 All of my pregnacy goofiness was the result of me refusing to buy proper maternity clothes.

    Comment by laura | November 19, 2006 | Reply

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