It’s Not All Mary Poppins

The Vocabulary Just Keeps Growing…

…but the focus of interest remains the same.

Nigel climbs up on the bench beside me at the dining table, now a cheerful heap of red, green, white, and glittery craft detritus. Less than a month to Christmas! The aroma wafting from the boy, though, is not at all festive.

“Phew, Nigel. You got a poop in there, buddy?” This would be your classic rhetorical question.

“Gotsa poop!”

“Well, let’s change you then.”

“Gotsa poop! Gotsa big log.”

“Charming. You only say these things to sweep me off my feet, I know.”

“Gotsa big stinky log. Gotsa stinky poo in my die-pee.”

By now I’ve peeled the diaper off the boy, and he’s called it right. He does indeed have the items, just as described. I hold my breathe and do the necessary.

“Mahwee gotsa cween my stinky poo-bum.”

Me: choke, gasp, wheeze.

“I gotsa stinky poo innerre! A big poo.”

“You certainly do, bud.”

“I a big boy, I make big poo. Big, big fee-sees.”

Hello? Anyone out there want to claim that their 22-month-old has ever used that word in a sentence? Destined for big things, this boy. If we could only change the focus of fascination.

© 2006, Mary P

November 30, 2006 - Posted by | eeewww, potty tales, quirks and quirkiness, the things they say!


  1. Ah no, my 22 month old just says poopy die-pa, fresh die-pa, clean die-pa, dry die-pa. No fee-sees around here. No logs either for that matter.

    Comment by Rayne of Terror | November 30, 2006 | Reply

  2. What the heck kind of dinner conversations are they having at Nigel’s house? LOL

    Comment by Avalon | November 30, 2006 | Reply

  3. Um, wow. That is pretty impressive.

    Comment by abogada | November 30, 2006 | Reply

  4. That is hysterical. I am cracking up.
    Thanks for the giggles.

    Comment by Peter | November 30, 2006 | Reply

  5. Ian, 29 months, knowing it leads to a diaper change, avoids that topic completely! We’re no where no close to potty training.

    Comment by Mamacita Tina | November 30, 2006 | Reply

  6. Ba ha. He does come from a rather academical family. This does not surprise me one iota.

    Comment by Haley | November 30, 2006 | Reply

  7. I dunno, proctologists make a decent living…maybe his parents got tired of ‘poop’ and tried to vary the words a bit?

    Comment by BeckaJo | December 1, 2006 | Reply

  8. It’s a good thing I’m alone, helplessly chortling as I am. It’s not the sort of thing to read out to just anyone.

    Squiffany is 20 months and sometimes gives enough warning of the oncoming poo (or pee) in time to make it to the potty. I haven’t heard her say ‘faeces’ though. I think I’ll teach her…..

    Comment by Z | December 1, 2006 | Reply

  9. Rayne: Count your blessings. Frankly, I find that one (“logs”) far more vulgar than if he’d just come out and called it ‘shit’. (Good thing, because I think that’s inevitable.) πŸ˜€

    Avalon: Just about anything. They are a highly educated, highly intelligent, and, all surface appearances to the contrary, highly eccentric family. They look normal, boring even. Which only shows how deceptive appearances can be…

    Abogada: Isn’t it? Both his parents have their PhD’s, and it shows in their children – at least the vocabulary!

    Peter: Potty humour. Simple, unsophisticated, but brings in the laughs every time.

    Mamacita Tina: Funny how they react differently. Nigel, 22 months, has just taken to grabbing a clean diaper from the shelf, laying down in the change area, and calling to me: “Stinky poo! I gotsa stinky poo!” Think we could start training the boy soon??

    Haley: Indeed he does. His father will call it ‘shit’ – because that’s what it is. His mother would goof around by calling it feces. And the kids soak it all up – the words, not the other stuff…

    BeckaJo: I’m sure you’re right. It’s from a parent who craves a little variety. I really am waiting for ‘shit’ to appear in the vocab. I know dad will teach it to him, just know it.

    Z: Nigel’s to that stage, too. Just beginning to show signs of awareness. So far, he only tells me after the deed is done, but it’s a step! (“Squiffany”. Makes me grin every time.)

    Comment by Mary P. | December 1, 2006 | Reply

  10. That is funny. I chuckle again every time I think of it. πŸ™‚

    Comment by Kelli in the Mirror | December 1, 2006 | Reply

  11. Ok, now that Nigel is talking, I may finally be able to finsih mourning the loss of George and Darcy.

    Comment by Kimberly | December 1, 2006 | Reply

  12. My Pumpkin’s got a lot of words, but we haven’t taught her feces yet! Nor is she as keen on getting changed.

    I just keep getting the giggles and having to go back and read the whole hilarious exchange again. GREAT phonetic toddler-ese, by the way.

    Comment by Ms. Huis Herself | December 1, 2006 | Reply

  13. Feces? Man. That’s one smart little dude.
    The unfortunate part of this is I’m sure you had trouble keeping from laughing, which in turn meant you had to breathe and subsequently smell said poop.
    I definitely think he’s ready to star potty training.

    Comment by Tortugita | December 1, 2006 | Reply

  14. Kelli: You’ve been there. I know you have!

    Kimberly: Yes, it’s nice to have a burgeoning talker in the crew. The others are cute and all, but there’s only so much blog fodder when all they do is bumble around being cute.

    Ms. Huis: Thanks. It’s all those years of ear training, I’m sure.

    Tortugita: Too right. I’m a pretty efficient diaper-changer – can do one in one long breath – but not when I laugh! Is he ready for training? Well, it would be best if he knew it was coming before the fact. Just yet, he’s only letting me know after. But it’s a step!

    Comment by Mary P. | December 1, 2006 | Reply

  15. Oh good grief! Seriously? Feces? Hmmm, gotta get my little one to seriously start hittin’ the books! (just kidding)

    Comment by Mama's Moon | December 4, 2006 | Reply

  16. I am still laughing at that one.

    Comment by Jenorama | December 5, 2006 | Reply

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