I’m A Winner!!

I’ve come into my fortune, at last! I knew it was only a matter of time, and this morning, it happened.

There, in my Inbox,

***Your Email Address Have Won***

Couldn’t be clearer than that now, could it? See, it’s because of some changes in the laws over there in Europe…

With the introduction of new types of games, with the ushering in of on-line technology and with the permits issued under EU law to EU countries to compete for concessions to run games in Italy and on the internet, we are launching our first international program.

(Which could be a little clearer, but you get the gist.)

And changes in how they run their lottery…

We are running a program where instead of bought tickets and numbers in the ballots we use email addresses. All contestants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from email addresses taken from all over the world.

And I really should be excited, because…

[My] E-mail address has come up as one of the winners; you have therefore won the sum of One Million United States Dollars (US $1,000,000, 00).

One million dollars! US! That’s, like, um… MORE than one million dollars! CDN!!!

The only part that confuses me is that I have to follow a link and check out their terms and conditions. If I’ve won, then surely all they need do is send me the cheque?

And why, at the bottom, are they thanking me for for “being part of our promotional program”?

But they’re very nice about it:

Congratulations once more from all of us at Superenalotto!!

And when I’m rich, I’ll remember all my friends. Promise.

So I’m wondering: how many of YOU also woke up and discovered that you, too, were millionaires?