It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Plan B Comes Through!

You know how I said we had an officiant for the ceremony?

Welllll…. we had one booked a month ago, but I really didn’t much like him. We paid him his deposit, but we kept looking. Stephen discovered that a colleague of his works for a marriage service place, and tried to get hold of her. This proved to be harder than we expected (good reasons for that, as it turned out, but we couldn’t know that at the time). The weeks went by, the day came closer, and we were thinking that we were going to have to go with the dud guy, and I was being sensible about it – I wasn’t looking to make him my best friend; he just had to come and do the job – but it was oppressing me. I wanted someone who’d be into the spirit of the thing. I wanted someone to rejoice with us.

Today – finally! – we meet the woman we’d been trying to meet with for three weeks. (The convoluted explanation of why it took three weeks to connect, and why it was absolutely right that we connected now and not earlier, would fill another post.) Tonight we met.

And she is WONDERFUL.

I am sooooo relieved.

Let us compare the two:

Dud: Gave us 30 minutes
Wonderwoman: Gave us 90

Dud: Did not ask a single question. TOLD us how it would be.
WW: Presented us with an outline, but asked at every point for input.

Dud: Was rude to Stephen; interrupted him constantly. It was clear he was to talk and we were to listen. Though, oddly, he never interrupted me.
WW: Listened with respect to both of us.

Dud: Gave us an outline (carved in stone) — with someone else’s names in it! (Not even blanks. No, Bambi and Rocky throughout.)
WW: Had an outline obviously tailored to us (with OUR names in it) based on the phone conversation she’d had with Stephen.

Dud: Had really, really bad teeth and hair.
WW: Tall, slim, blond, with great teeth. In fact, for those who prefer willowy blonds to curvy brunettes, she has me in the shade.

Dud: No creativity at all. He had his script for the event. End of story.
WW: Thought of ways we might include our children; thought of a neat ritual to put in, when Stephen commented on the complete lack of religion in the ceremony; thought of a great way to work in the two readings we brought to her; compromised with us about other ideas – the whole hour was an exercise in negotiated creativity. It was heaven.

This woman was a cantor in her synagogue for ten years. She has a demanding, intelligent career. She played the flute for some years in the symphony. She sings opera. She volunteers as a singer in old folks homes. And she does marriages. She’s way cool, good-looking, intelligent, vibrant, and fun.

If things don’t work out with Stephen and me, I may just have to marry her.

May 16, 2007 Posted by | wedding | 10 Comments