It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Endless Loop

You know how sometimes you can be ten minutes into something before it occurs to you how goofy it is?

I have two children in front of me. Nigel, who needs to get his shoes on, and Emily, who needs her coat zipped. For this operation, Nigel needs to sit, and Emily needs to stand. (Emily’s very round belly precludes you zipping her coat when she sits – you can’t find the toggle under the curve!)

I have the bottom of each half of Emily’s zipper in my hands. I will do Nigel’s shoes next. First he needs to take his slippers off.

“Nigel, lovie. Sit down, please.”
Nigel sits down. Emily sits down. Now I can’t find the zipper.

“Hey, Miss Moo. Stand up.”
Emily stands. Nigel stands.

“No, Nigel. You need to take those slippers off. Sit down.”
Nigel sits. Emily sits. Damn! I just got the tab into the zipper! Now I’ve lost it.

“Emily, lovie. Stand up, please.”
Emily stands. Nigel stands.

“Nigel, for goodness’ sake! I was talking to Emily! Sit down!”
Nigel sits. Emily sits.

“Emily, I can’t get the zipper on if you’re sitting. Please, stand up.”
Emily stands. Nigel stands.

Help! I’m trapped in an endless loop!
You know, this is very silly. I think we can stop this now…

I ignore Nigel. Zip up Emily’s coat.
“Nigel, time to take those slippers off. Sit down, please.”

Nigel sits.

Emily sits.


June 7, 2007 - Posted by | Emily, Nigel, peer pressure


  1. I know the loop feeling, mine is extensive, yes, no, because I said so, thats not appropiate, thats not hygenic, if you listened you would know what I said, hurry up, slow down….

    Comment by jenny uk | June 7, 2007 | Reply

  2. You’ve just made them too obedient. Very funny though…

    Comment by z | June 7, 2007 | Reply

  3. My loop seems to be the one kid I’m shoe-ing to be running toward the door, while the one who already has shoes and is ready to play sitting on my lap. I call for one and the other comes running. all the time.

    Comment by ktjrdn | June 7, 2007 | Reply

  4. Had a good chuckle on this one. Strangely I’ve begun experiencing the exact same things here at home with my two little ones. Rrrrgh!

    Would make a good sequel to Bill Murray’s ‘Groundhog Day’, eh?

    Comment by Mama's Moon | June 7, 2007 | Reply

  5. I miss the little loops. Toy in hand, toy on the floor, tears, toy in hand, toy on the floor, tears…hehehe.

    Comment by Sheri | June 7, 2007 | Reply

  6. I have found myself in this situation before.
    Sometimes I can’t see the forest through the trees.
    That is where the deep breath and regroup comes in.

    Comment by Peter | June 7, 2007 | Reply

  7. Hilarious.
    Perhaps you need a “Form a line here” sign!

    Comment by kittenpie | June 7, 2007 | Reply

  8. “You know how sometimes you can be ten minutes into something before it occurs to you how goofy it is?”

    Nope. Sure don’t. Certainly not every other hour of every day. 🙂

    Comment by stefanierj | June 7, 2007 | Reply

  9. Jenny: I’m sure I have an endless list of endless loops. Toddlers do that to you…

    Z: Too obedient! Now, who could have imagined that could be a problem? Guess I don’t know my own strength!

    Kt: And the other one that always, always happens? You’re putting on shoes, and you say, “Give me your foot, please”, and they give you the wrong foot for the shoe. Every time. How can that be? Shouldn’t they get it right 50% of the time, through sheer chance?

    Mama’s Moon: If it’s happening at your house, you can take comfort in Z’s comment, #2, above. You’re doing (almost) TOO good a job!! 🙂

    Sheri: There are more of these things than I realized when first I wrote the post! But of course, there are gazillions… (Don’t worry about the pingback; I generally edit them out because they’re cluttery, but I like to know they’ve happened! Besides, I could adjust my settings to refuse them if I wanted.)

    Peter: Over the years of working with todders, I have perfected the “deep breath and regroup” technique. I call it “going Zen”. Get it down pat now, and it will help you immensely in the teen years…

    Kittenpie: Great idea. All I have to do first is teach them all how to read it, and then I’m away to the races!

    Stefanierj: I’m sure you don’t. I’m quite sure I’m the only mother who has ever experienced this one, uh-huh… 🙂

    Comment by MaryP | June 9, 2007 | Reply

  10. That is entirely too funny.

    Comment by Ki | June 9, 2007 | Reply

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