It’s Not All Mary Poppins

The Art of Toddler Debate

1. Pick a noun. Any noun will do: socks, mommy, kumquat.

2. Preface that noun with “My”.

3. State these two words as a declarative. “My kumquat.” This is your “first affirmation“, or “proposition“. (Note: the object in question does not have to be in view. The object in question does not have to be in the house. Heck, you don’t even strictly need to know what the object in question is.)

4. Wait. If there is another toddler within a mile and a half of your declaration, the debate will proceed as follows:

“My kumquat.”
My kumquat.”
My kumquat.”
My kumquat.”
My kumquat.”
“MY kumquat!”
“MY kumquat!!”
MY kumquat!!!!

For variety, you might try a rebuttal:
“NO, my kumquat!”

Or a counter-proposition:
“Not YOUR kumquat. MY kumquat!”

Or even a riposte:
MINE, MINE, MINE KUMQUAT!!!!!

Continue with debate until Mary starts banging her head into the wall again. Then you declare the debate closed, and all go watch.

November 6, 2007 Posted by | aggression, power struggle, socializing, the dark side | 7 Comments