It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Happy New Year!!

Let’s celebrate with some words of wisdom from Stephen Colbert:


Raising the kids is the mother’s responsibility. It’s a thankless, solitary job, like seriff or Pope.

The mother-child bond is a fragile things… But while time apart is hard on the kids, it’s devastating for Mom. There’s something I call “The Maternal Instinct.”… Females need to nurture constantly, so they hate any time alone where they are left to think, sower, or sleep. For a Mom to be happy, every moment away from her children must be filled with the soul-wrenching thought, “Am I a bad mother?”

The answer to that question is a resounding “Yes.” Scientists have proven, one assumes, that every flaw in a child can be traced back to a mistake made by the mother. As adults we’re all imperfect, so that means all mothers are incompetent. But some mothers are worse than others. Take women who work…

A mother needs to be in the home even when the kids aren’t. A messy house sends a coded message to children: “I’m not loveable. Otherwise Mom would dust.”

A good mother cooks, cleans, drives, organizes charity events so her children earn community service poiints for college, and expects nothing in return except love and breakfast in bed once a year.

[Mothers are] doing the job that God put them here to do: Everything.”


See yourself in there? We can grin (ruefully) because it’s based on a lot of real-life, though often unspoken, expectations and assumptions.

The sad part is that too often we mothers buy into this, and suffer reams of guilt because we’re not living up to these ridiculous expectations. Heck, mostly the people around us do not care if there’s dust under the piano, or if the cookies for the bake sale are bought, not home-made. It’s not other people: We do it to ourselves!

So, next time you’re suffering guilt? Put on your Colbert glasses, take a long, hard look at what’s eating you —

and mock it.

January 1, 2008 Posted by | parenting, random and odd | 10 Comments