It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Valentine’s Day approacheth

Time for crafts! The nice thing about working with little wee ones is that you don’t need to worry about being uncreative, uber-traditional, or cheesy.

You can be ALL those things! They’ve never seen it before, have they? And their parents? Any parents worthy of the name, first-time or tenth-time parents, will be thrilled and delighted with whatever their tot brings home, crafted with their very own pudgy little hands. And really: sticking firmly with tradition is teaching them their heritage! Initiating them to their culture! And cheesy? Cheesy is age-appropriate, people.

So. Simple, traditional, cheesy. Cliche, even. There is no need to reinvent the wheel. Heck, when you’re two? Wheels are fascinating!


We have the pink and red paper, the lace doilies — white AND silver — the scissors, glue, red thread and coathangers. Pink and red paper and paper doilies straight from the dollar store.

First, we make hearts. Lots and lots of hearts. One per family member of each child, which tallies some 20 hearts. With a few extra for spoilage.


Then they draw pictures, one per heart: mommy, daddy, and any siblings, while I make the toppers for the mobiles.


And as we draw, we chatter. We chatter about our artwork…

“I’m making numbers!”
“Numbers? You’re supposed to be drawing daddy.”
Child in question looks at the teeny loops dotting her heart.
“Okay. It’s daddy!”

We chatter about our families …

“I’m drawing my mommy!”
“I’m drawing my daddy!”
“My mommy has a vulva.”
“My daddy has a penis!”

“I am drawin’ Juh.”
“‘Juh?’ There is no “Juh” in your house.” (He means his brother, George. I know this, but his speech has been getting very sloppy these days, and we’re working on careful pronounciation.) “Who are you drawing?”

We chatter about the Really Important Distinctions of life …
“My daddy has a penis!”
“I am drawin’ my mummy’s head.”
“My daddy has a big penis.”
“I am drawin’ my mummy’s eyes.”
“My daddy has big, hairy penis.”
“I am drawin’ my mummy’s hands.”
“My daddy has balls, too!”
“I am drawin’ my mummy’s hat.”
“My daddy has hairy balls!”
“Are you gonna draw your daddy’s penis?”
“No-oo! That’s PRIVATE!”

At the end of our happy innocent table talk, we have created five mobiles, once for each happy, anatomically-correct family.


Bring on Valentine’s Day!

February 5, 2008 Posted by | crafts, holidays, sex | , | 12 Comments