How do you spell “Exciting”?

“I’ll be picking her up at 12:30 today. She has a dentist appointment at 1:00.”

I look up from our joint project of unpacking the child from her snow gear. “Is this her first visit?”

“Yes. It should be exciting.” She gives her little girl a quick hug and a beaming smile. She really is excited, the crazy woman. Not “crazy” because she’s excited about the dentist. One of my kids just loooved the dentist when he was little, and I wasn’t about to pollute his enthusiasm with my marginally less sunny attitude. So, sure, she’s exuding enthusiasm. She is being a Good Mommy.

No, it’s the timing. 1:00 p.m.? One in the afternoon? It’s a sign of my true professionalism (and basic kindness) that I did not allow my jaw to drop to the floor.

Oh, it’ll be ‘exciting’, all right, taking a two-year-old to her very first dental visit, scheduled at THE VERY BEGINNING OF NAP TIME. What could be more fun than taking a sleep-deprived two-year-old to the dentist for the very first time? ‘Exciting’ is one word for it.

You’ve got to wonder what the thought process was that resulted in that lunatic decision. Mom has morning meetings? Reschedule them! It was the only dentist visit available for the next month? SO? I’d wait a whole lot longer than a month to avoid taking a sleep-deprived two-year-old to see the dentist. For her very first visit.

Were I a dentist, I think I’d have a policy: No toddler appointments between the hours of noon and four. Is this a family dentist, or a pediatric dentist, I wonder? And if she specializes, doesn’t she know better than that?

Oh, but I forget: she has a business to run. If she specializes in children, she can’t refuse appointments for half the day to a large section of her clientele. She has a business to run, AND she has access to sedatives. Lots and lots of calming, soothing drugs.

I’m thinking mom will need them before this is over.