It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Mortification

I know you guys say all sorts of complimentary things about me. One of you, you sweetie, actually called me the “gold standard” for caregivers. Which would have made me blush — if I ever blushed. (I never do; strange, since I have a very pale complexion for a brunette.) Not a few of you have very flatteringly rued the fact that you lived far, far away and couldn’t leave your child with me. It’s all very nice…

but you’re wrong.

There is no point in beating around the bush. I am just going to spit it right out. I am no paragon. I am not in the caregiver elite, and I am certainly not the Gold Standard.

Nope. As of right now, I am officially a deadbeat caregiver.

Really.

I have this great Mother’s Day craft I’ll be doing with the tots. I’ve done it in years past, and it’s always a hit. It’s cute, colourful, personal, and even a little bit practical. And the kids really do a goodly portion of the work. Not all: This is one of the rare ones that I actually “fix up” a bit when they’re done. It’s one I enjoy, AND it has a sort of companion Father’s Day gift, too, for next month.

And you, you lucky people, are going to get to see this thing in production, so that you, too, can make it. If not for yourselves (since most of you guys are gals), then for grammas. Wouldn’t that be nice? Step-by-step instructions, with pictures, and actually little pudgy dimpled hands doing the work? Wouldn’t that be CUTE?

And won’t the mommies just LOVE it?

Well, no, actually, because they’re NOT GOING TO GET IT.

Why not?

Because it takes about a week to complete, and I HAVEN’T STARTED IT YET, THAT’S WHY!

Why not?

BECAUSE I THOUGHT MOTHER’S DAY WAS NEXT WEEK!

I can’t even do some cute-but-quick craft tomorrow, because two of the tykes won’t be here tomorrow.

I screwed up Mother’s Day. I absolutely, totally screwed up Mother’s Day. What kind of a caregiver misses Mother’s Day?

A deadbeat one, that’s what kind.

I. Am. Mortified.

Ugh.

May 8, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 14 Comments