It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Choices, choices

I’m not here today. I’m over here instead.

August 14, 2008 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. You know, I just have to say I appreciate when you let us know you’ve posted elsewhere so I don’t miss out on the Mary P wisdom. Thanks. Enjoyed it as always.

    Comment by Ms. Huis Herself | August 15, 2008 | Reply

  2. Great essay. I used to be more smug (also secretly) about being a SAHM–surely others could sacrifice if I was doing it, if they really wanted to. But thanks to your blog and others by WOHM’s, I have totally changed my perspective. Amazing what putting yourself in someone else’s shoes can do…

    Comment by Alison @ hairlinefracture | August 15, 2008 | Reply

  3. My comments will be over there, too :-).

    Comment by Florinda | August 15, 2008 | Reply

  4. I really, really liked your post. The thing about the moral argument is that morality isn’t absolute in the sense that mine isn’t necessarily going to be the same as another person’s. So it can often just be a roundabout way of saying, “Because I said so!” I was a firm believer that the best mother would stay at home to raise her children, until I was faced with the same prospect and realised it would not benefit me or my child. Second time around, though, has been easier, and I could probably cope if I had to. I find it interesting that Alison mentions “sacrifice” (not having a go at Alison–she just triggered my thoughts), which is something one often hears in relation to being a stay-at-home parent. That and “obligation”. Not the two most encouraging words when talking about something that the moral argument asserts to be the “superior” choice.

    The other issue I have about the thought that being a working mother is somehow an immoral choice is that the argument often boils a woman’s career aspirations down to a financial or otherwise ruthlessly selfish motivation, when in fact for many woman with successful careers, their job forms an essential part of who they are and not just something that they can easily give up.

    Comment by Kat | August 18, 2008 | Reply

  5. Great article.
    I really believe that I am a better mom when I am working. I have more patience, I give Jeffrey more focused time and I find that I am generally more relaxed. I love my child more than I ever thought possible and I love spending time with him but I also love my job and career path. I didn’t go to college to have something to fall back on, I went because I loved science and wanted to be able to help people somehow in my everyday life.
    I was afraid for a long time that I was doing the wrong thing and was confronted with well meaning friends who wanted to point out all that was wrong with me being at work.
    I’ve finally come to the place where I’m happy with our choice. Jeffrey is surrounded by caregivers that nurture and love him. He is exposed to different people, different cultures and different experiences than I would be able to give him. He loves going to “school” and yet he still loves me more. I know that I’m still the one he runs to and asks for.
    We all make choices in our lives and the best lesson that I’ve learned is that while mine isn’t right for everybody, it is right for me.

    Comment by Dani | August 27, 2008 | Reply

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