It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Just makes you feel warm and fuzzy all over, doesn’t it?

Genuine ad from a nanny-focussed website. (Edited to put in paragraph breaks, making it a little easier to read, but it’s all the potential employer’s exact words.)

Nanny Needed ASAP
I posted a listing on Thursday but wasn’t getting the proper responses and it became difficult to weed out the kind of people I am looking for, so I am trying again.

I need a nanny ASAP. Preferably by Monday. If you can’t start Monday, skip this ad. Next, I need someone with infant experience. That’s a must, as my former nanny (to my dismay and horror) could not make a bottle. I am a little scarred by that. She was nice, she was caring, she cleaned REALLY well (I liked that), but she was incompetent. Competence is a must. I don’t like to tell my nanny the obvious.

I’d like for her to be hands-on. I don’t want someone who will stick my child in the crib and let her cry (my nanny did that too, but her excuse is that she was vacuuming). I expect housework, but I expect it to be done while the baby sleeps (that’s about 4 hours a day–not an unreasonable request if you ask me).

I don’t want my nanny to chat on the phone or watch tv while my baby is awake (if she is sleeping, knock yourself out). Lastly, I pay $400 a week for the following hours 7:30a.m.-4:30p.m. You’d only be responsible for an 8 month-old infant who sleeps for 4+ hours a day. If you are looking for $12-15 an hour, you can skip this ad too. While I’d love to be able to pay that, I am not made of money.

If you fit this description, email me your resume WITH REFERENCES. I need contact info of the most recent CHILDCARE positions you held. While I am sure your friends are lovely people, I don’t really want to talk to them. Thanks.

I’m speechless…

September 30, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 25 Comments