It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Hippocratic what?

Teddy lies on the floor. She is stumbled upon, quite literally, by two 3-year-olds, whom we will call Timmy and Anna.

fixers“There is the teddy, Timmy, and you stepped on her!”
“You did, too, and now she is hurt!”
“We need to fix her.”
“We need tools, don’t we?”
“Oh, I know! There are tools in the kitchen!”
“Mine teddy not doing well, Anna. She’s sick.”
“Poor teddy! That’s not fair. That is dumb.”
“We will get the tools and fix her.”
“Yes. A hammer and the pliers.”
“And a saw. And we will fix her.”
[Ugh. Poor teddy, indeed.]

From the kitchen:
“Here are the tools.”
“Yes, but Timmy, I found the doctor kit! We can use that!”
[Phew.]
“You put that on her tummy and listen to her heart.”
“And you can scrape her with that.” (thermometer)
“Yes, I will put this on her nose, and scrape like this!”
“Oh, and I will put the stuffascope on her nose, too!”
“You will listen to her heart in her NOSE?”
“Yes, and she won’t be able to breathe!
(Gales of laughter.)
Timmy hauls out the reflex hammer.
“She needs a shot with this.”
Expressing an unexpected burst of human kindness, Anna demurs. “She doesn’t like shots. You have to hit her in the knee with it.”
“I will hit her in the nose.”
“In the NOSE?”
(Gales of laughter.)
“Oh, we have to stop fixing her now.”
“Why, Timmy?”
“Because she’s dead.”
“Oh, poor teddy.”
“Yeah, poor teddy.”
“We didn’t fix her and now she’s all dead.”
“Yeah.”
“Hey, I know! Let’s go fix the DOG!”
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They were not allowed to fix the dog.

March 27, 2009 Posted by | the things they say! | | 6 Comments