It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Things you never expected to hear yourself saying

Part 184 654…

handTyler approaches, his arm extended, thumb and forefinger delicately pinched. His enormous blue eyes are round with sincerity as he presses his gift upon me.

I’m used to this. Tyler gives me all manner of beauteous things: flowers, trinkets, food… all of them presented like this, all of them formless and void.

I hold out my hand. What is it this time? Ice cream? A crown? Birthday cake? A puppy? A fire truck? He’s so sweet, Tyler.

Something lands in my palm.

Something very small, essentially weightless, mostly dry and pale, with a darker, damper streak at one end. Small and virtually weightless, but quite real. At the second I realize what what distinctively unbeauteous thing lies in my palm, before I flip my wrist and send it — this was probably a mistake — flying to land godknowswhere, I proclaim yet Another Rule of Civilized Living:

“DON’T give me your boogers! I don’t want them! Nobody wants somebody else’s boogers!”

And then I wash my hands.

August 13, 2009 - Posted by | eeewww, Tyler | , , , ,


  1. For a while, my daughter made it a sport to hold out a booger to me shouting “snot!”, then wait patiently until I got a tissue, and then eat it with the most triumphant look on her face. Now I make her get her own tissue, which is not nearly as entertaining for her.

    Little wretch. Glad you out-smarted her!

    Comment by Mwa | August 13, 2009 | Reply

  2. I’m glad you washed your hands! 😛


    Innocent little guy!

    Comment by ~S~ | August 14, 2009 | Reply

  3. […] chortle at that. Yes, indeed. Chalk dust is the least of it, really. Really. […]

    Pingback by Everyone can use some sometimes « It’s Not All Mary Poppins | March 31, 2011 | Reply

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