It’s Not All Mary Poppins

He knows wut he knows…

967718_indecisionThe layers are being revealed.

Little William is solemn, brave, and friendly. I knew that.

I’ve discovered that he is also very methodical. Give him a puzzle, and he sorts the pieces by type, then follows the picture (“the map”) and assembles it from left to right. Or, if the mood strikes, from right to left or top to bottom. But there is always Method and Order.

And he is also Opinionated. Even when those opinions are based on… well, I’m not sure quite what.

“Emily, when we get to the corner, which way will we turn?”
“That way.” Emily indicates right.
“No, it’s not.” William is quite, quite sure. William, who has never been to the park with us before.

“We are going to my park, William. You are probably thinking of a park close to your house. This will be a different park,” I explain, “and Emily’s right. We need to go that way.”

“No.” He is not angry or petulant. He is just very, very sure. And perhaps a little puzzled as to why we are arguing with him, when he KNOWS.

“William. I have been to this park about a million times. I go to this park two or three times every week all summer long. Don’t you think I know how to get there?”

He considers a beat.

“I think not.”

Well. What do you do when the Accurate meets the Implacable?

You ignore it, that’s what. You ignore it, turn right, and — wonder of wonders — you GET TO THE PARK!!!

And if you’re a grown-up, you don’t stick out your tongue and do the nyah-nyah-poo-poo dance. But if the children do it? It might just be that you just don’t notice that. Because if you did, you’d probably have to stop them…

August 19, 2009 Posted by | individuality, quirks and quirkiness | , , , , , | 6 Comments

The how and how not of tattling

Tattler“Mary! Mary, Tyler ate a piece of apple!”
“Mary! Nissa’s playing with the shoes!”
“Mary! He din’ wait for his TURN!”

Malli is visiting us this week. Malli has always been a bit of a prima donna, and a year of school hasn’t lessened this tendency one whit.

“Mary! It is supposed to be MY turn with the ball!”
“Mary! Noah’s touchin’ my cup!”
“Mary! The babies are bumping into me!”

And of course I ask her “Did you talk to [whoever] about it?” And of course she hasn’t. So of course I send her off to do that thing.

“Mary! He has all the books!”
“Mary! She is stompin’ her feet and I don’t LIKE that!”
“Mary! Emily says her daddy is bigger than my daddy!”

And of course I drill her in “Is anyone hurt? Is it dangerous? Is anyone bleeding?” And of course, every time the answer is NO, NO, and NO. “Well, unless it’s DANGEROUS, or someone could get HURT, or someone is BLEEDING, you don’t need to tell me.”

Ten times an hour. All morning long. (YES, she’s gotten worse since the last time I saw her. Her JK teacher must just love her to bits…)

And then, William’s voice calls out in alarm.

“Mary! Tank’s on top of the table!”

And so he is. With this climbing machine in the house, I’ve taken to my standby response: render the tabletop inaccessible by either pushing the benches right under the table, or by tipping them upside down. So far the first solution (easier for me) is working just fine. Tank hasn’t figured out how to push the benches out again, so he just climbs onto the bench, and then complains mightily when his head bashes repeatedly into the underside of the table.

And I laugh. Mwah-ha.

So how could Tank be up on the table? Has he learned to push the benches out? No.

See, Malli is lingering at her snack. The rest of us — including the Tankmeister — have long since left the table. But Malli is … savouring her pears and apples. Sitting on a bench.

And Tank, being Tank, has seen his opportunity, scrambled up the bench and scaled the tabletop.

And now sits on the table, RIGHT BESIDE MALLI. Malli the Tattle Queen? Who tells me EVERYTHING? Every TINY infraction of even POTENTIAL rules?

Malli has not said a word. Not.One.Word.

I think she hates me.

August 19, 2009 Posted by | Malli, Peeve me, socializing, the dark side | , , , , , | 3 Comments