Chocolate moments in history

Today’s post is a memory, brought to mind (and to you!) courtesy of this post by Rosie-Kate.

Many years ago, I was nursing my youngest at church. How many years ago? Depends on which child it was, and I can’t really remember. Said child was no more than six months old, that I do recall, so it was somewhere between 16 and 23 years.

Wow.

Anyway. Nursing my baby. At church. I’d slipped from my seat when s/he got fractious, and slid discreetly into the far corner of the very back pew. (Yes, I could have gone to the nursery, where the service was thoughtfully piped in, but, thoughtful though those speakers in the wall might be, if you actually want to hear the service, a roomful of babies and toddlers is not the place to be.) So, as I say, discreetly in a rear pew.

Not so discreetly that a restless four-year-old didn’t notice me, mind you. A four-year-old whose mother caught my eye, pointed to her wriggly daughter with raised eyebrows and tipped her head to the rear of the sanctuary. The message was clear. I nodded. Sure, she could come with me. (Don’t ask me why said four-year-old wasn’t in the Sunday School class. As I say, it was a long time ago. Maybe I never knew.)

Four-year-old was delighted, and trotted over to keep me company. She watches with interest as the baby slurps. Then I flip the baby over the burp cloth on my shoulder. Four-year-old wants to know why. I explain, briefly. Four-year-old gives the baby a few wallops too, just to help out. I fit the baby to the other side. Four-year-old wants to know why.

“Well,” says me, “The first one has white milk, and the second has chocoate. She’s finished her meal, and now she’s having dessert.” Mwah-ha. Even back then, I’d learned the pleasures of playing with a small child’s head. Four-year-old is dumb-struck. Which was the point: as you recall, I was sitting there because wanted to be able to hear the service. She gapes at me, silent with amazement. (Even back then, I was just so smart with the kids.)

After the service, the four-year-old runs up the aisle to meet her mother, silent no more.

“MOMMY! MOMMY!”

She has BIG NEWS to share. Mommy is making “shush” faces, but they’re not working.

“MOMMY! MOMMY, GUESS WHAT?!?!!!

BIG NEWS to share… with, so it would seem, the entire congregation.

MOMMY! MOMMY, MRS. P HAS A

Heads turn. Everyone wants to know, everyone is about to find out, that MrsP has a…

CHOCOLATE BOOBY!”

Sometimes? Sometimes you can be too smart.