It’s Not All Mary Poppins

NOT in the job description

Just NOT. Who makes up these ridiculous, disgusting things for mothers to do? As if there isn’t enough of an unavoidable ew-factor to parenting, we have to make stuff up???

You’re not seriously suggesting, Charmin, that I inspect my toddler’s anus for toilet paper leftovers? Because, you know, my child does not have a cute, furry butt, and the leftovers would not be speckled here and there, all white and puffy-dry. And they certainly couldn’t be removed with a whisk and dust-pan. No, what I’d be faced with — assuming I were demented enough to go searching for it (talk about buying trouble) — would be much, much less appealing. Much.

But somewhere, you know there are mothers buying into this notion… if not enough to actually do such a disgusting thing, then enough to feel guilty that they don’t.


This one threw me, but I know there are more. I recall the daycare parent at a centre I once worked in who expected the staff to pick her son’s nose for him, presumably because she did it herself. Have you run across any other gross and/or ridiculour expectations of mothers?

January 26, 2010 - Posted by | eeewww, health and safety, parenting, Peeve me, random and odd | , , ,


  1. Hahaha, I hate these commercials and I always make Hubby laugh with my vocal disgust at the very notion. Really, who does that?

    I really can’t think of anything to add to this though. 🙂

    Comment by Zayna | January 26, 2010 | Reply

  2. Um, none off-hand, but I did have a 5yo come to kindergarten one year who didn’t know how to wipe his own butt. Really.

    Granted, he had some constipation issues we were told (afterwards), which is why his parents explained their long-lasting help, but no. Just, no. Go back & do it yourself, kid.

    Comment by Ms. Huis Herself | January 26, 2010 | Reply

  3. I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt and say that they were trying to gloss over reality by showing cute bears with dustpans.

    Guessing it went like this at the advertising company: Hey, guys, Charmin wants us to make a commercial about how their tp doesn’t go to bits. Then nods turn to cringes as the ad people start thinking about the reality of where bits of toilet paper get stuck. Voila, cute bears and not an anus in sight!

    I’m amazed by the long and growing list of baby/toddler “must-haves,” for safety, learning, etc, etc. Lots of new moms have very little experience around young children and it’s easy to get sucked in.

    Comment by katkins | January 26, 2010 | Reply

  4. You know, for the smallest I can see some initial help with the butt wiping, but it really can’t be expected to go on. Aside from independence, and demeaning expectations from caregivers, what about the whole “it’s a private place” discussion? How do you make that work with the notion of waving it about for someone else to handle?

    Same with nose wiping. Right now, we occasionally need to grab something out of The Bun’s nose w a tweezer – he’s 16 months. But he’s starting to learn to blow his nose into a proferred kleenex, and will be expected to keep moving towards that!

    Also – BLECH.

    Agreed. Agreed, agreed, and agreed. And also – BLECH.

    Comment by kittenpie | January 26, 2010 | Reply

  5. Nothing to add – just love your blog and how you nail it on the head everytime.

    Comment by Angie | January 28, 2010 | Reply

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