You might be a daycare provider if…
It’s been over ten years since you’ve peed with the bathroom door entirely shut during working hours.
You habitually come out of the bathroom still zipping up, so as not to waste a single extra second in there.
You wash your hands in the kitchen sink instead of the bathroom, so as not to waste a single extra second in there.
You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.
Your idea of a good time is doing a potty dance because of a steaming pot of poo. In your living room.
Discussing the bowel movements (neither your own nor your children’s) over dinner seems perfectly normal to you.
You find humour in snot, boogers, vomit and poop.
Every time you go out, every time, someone will ask you, “Are they all yours???”
Your alarm bells start ringing when you suddenly realize, “Gosh, they’re quiet,” and you know they’re awake.
Whenever you phone someone, it immediately either gets very quiet (cf “alarm bells”, above), or VERY VERY LOUD.
You never, ever have a drink (alcoholic) during your work day… but you probably need one more than any other profession.
You sniff butts at work. Every day.
You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled, “Saying No is Easy. Just do it, dammit!”
Your favourite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
You find yourself writing the word “gots” and wondering why spellcheck won’t accept it.
When a parent calls to tell a child is sick, you commiserate verbally while doing a fist-pump in the air.
Okay. I know there are other care-givers out there reading this. Anything to add, ladies?
January 28, 2010 Posted by MaryP | daycare, eeewww, health and safety, random and odd | caregivers, daycare provider, daycarista, work-related humor, work-related humour | 13 Comments
About
A childcare provider is expected to be a superhuman mix of the Madonna and Mary Poppins, ever patient, loving, kind, always delighting in the sweetness of her charges. I don’t do such a bad job, all in all, and it’s far more likely the parents than the children who strain my sanity most days. But I’m here to tell you: It’s Not ALL Mary Poppins…
If you wish to contact me, my email is notmaryp at gmail dot com
Pages
Recent Comments
bbw sex doll on What I Got for Christmas YourDoll JP on What I Got for Christmas Jeli on Succulent Identification Assis… Q. on These things are relative… kathleencornelldayca… on Teeny tiny talker RSS feed
Tweet, tweet
- RT @TheMattWilstein: Hearing this brutal @realDonaldTrump joke could make it onto @colbertlateshow's live show tonight. #DemsInPhilly https… 5 years ago
- Snow yesterday, thunderstorm this morning. Weird, weird, weird. 7 years ago
- The tots want to remove tops. "No, you'll be cold." They are nonplussed: Mary just stripped down to a tank top! Shall I explain 'hot flash?' 7 years ago
Categories
Archives
- November 2014
- October 2014
- April 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- November 2013
- October 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
- December 2007
- November 2007
- October 2007
- September 2007
- August 2007
- July 2007
- June 2007
- May 2007
- April 2007
- March 2007
- February 2007
- January 2007
- December 2006
- November 2006
- October 2006
- September 2006
- August 2006
- July 2006
- June 2006
- May 2006
- April 2006
- March 2006
- February 2006
- January 2006
- December 2005
- November 2005
- October 2005
- September 2005
- August 2005
- July 2005
- June 2005
- May 2005
- April 2005