It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Expectations

Once again, daddy is dropping Noah off. And once again, Noah is managing the transition just fine.

Today, dad talked about Noah’s plans for the day, discussed on the way over. And then I could talk about what we were going to do today — making roads all over the floor with wide green painter’s tape, and putting up the little streetlights we made yesterday, so we can drive our cars all over. All part of our “transportation” theme for the month.

And Noah — obviously pre-directed by his skillful daddy — chats happily about what he will play with Tyler when Tyler arrives, and daddy gives Noah a cheerful hug…

…and there! Done!

Daddy’s gone, Noah’s here, without the slightest hiccup. Lovely.

Analyzing it in the kitchen a few minutes later, my daughter Emma put it nicely.

“It’s all about the parents’ expectations, isn’t it? The dads usually manage to convey, “I expect you to be happy, and I know you can do it!” But the moms are often saying, “I expect you to be sad… but please don’t!”

She’s very wise for sixteen, Emma.

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March 3, 2010 - Posted by | Noah, parenting, parents

7 Comments »

  1. And how!

    Comment by Cindy C | March 3, 2010 | Reply

  2. Emma is going to make a great mum one day!

    Comment by Angela | March 3, 2010 | Reply

  3. that’s true, isn’t it? Whatever the age, when someone goes to you, oh, but you won’t be having any fun, I know, and I’m so sorry, but you have to stay here or do that, of course you’ll have a rubbish start of the day, won’t you?

    Comment by Nat | March 4, 2010 | Reply

  4. Very clever Emma.

    I don’t get that about some mothers, though. I remember being consoled (!) by someone because my daughter was happy to go to the creche, and would wave goodbye rather than cry.

    Comment by Mwa | March 4, 2010 | Reply

  5. I LOVE Emma’s observations (they should have their own category). I think it’s because they’re so impartial and cut to the quick.

    She can wrap up in a few sentences what parents twice her age struggle with for months, even years.

    Wise indeed.

    Comment by Zayna | March 4, 2010 | Reply

  6. Well said, Emma.

    Comment by kittenpie | March 6, 2010 | Reply

  7. I think that some mothers want (need?) to feel that their little darling can’t live without them happily for even one moment. The angsty goodbyes fill an emotional need in the Mom on some level.

    I also think that sometimes Moms transfer their own feelings of sadness about leaving their sweeties. Mom feels sad or conflicted, so she assumes baby must, too.

    Comment by Mrs. Missy | March 12, 2010 | Reply


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