It’s Not All Mary Poppins

I’m not THAT Mary, after all…

“Who IS the one who drives the green Volvo?” My neighbour, my gay neighbour, is showing more interest than his curmudgeonly anti-socialness usually allows him.

(For the record: I really like him, and from time to time we get out for a laughter-filled evening of food and drink. But he’s not readily social, more inclined to sit out on his private back deck than the public front porch, and so it’s unusual for him to notice the comings and goings on the street, let alone my particular front door.)

“Is that one of YOURS?” he wants to know. “One of mine” as in a client, and yes, it would be. Why? He gazes at me, astonished I even have to ask.

“Be-caaaaaaause… he’s totally HOTT. You mean you haven’t noticed? How could you not notice that hotness coming into your house every day?”

I haven’t noticed. It’s a quirk of my character, one which has come with age. I’m quite, quite sure I couldn’t have managed it in my twenties, and probably not in my thirties. But I am in my forties. Hell, I am fast leaving my forties behind, and, no, I have not noticed the HOTTNESS of this gentleman because he’s a daycare dad. With very few exceptions, I don’t tend to notice the attractive qualities of the daycare dads. Daycare dads are… dads. They’re clients. They’re not, you know, men.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Stop snorting. It’s probably saved me no end of pointless lusting.

Only now it’s been pointed out to me, and next time I see him, I actually look, and… Oh, my lord. This man is GORGEOUS. I have two responses to this new-found awareness:

1. How could I not have noticed?
2. Thanks for NOTHING, gay neighbour.

It entertains me, though, to tell my hott-who-knew? client’s wife that my gay neighbour thinks her hubby is hot stuff. She just laughs.

“Oh, he used to be a model” (He used to be a MODEL? And I didn’t NOTICE? Okay, professional filters are one thing, but, good grief, I am now officially bordering on dead.) “He used to be a model, and gay guys often notice him.”

So I told you all that, which happened months and months ago, so I could tell you this:

So today Emily, while showing me the temporary tatoo on her tummy, tells me,

“Daddy has a tattoo, only his doesn’t go away. His will stay on forever and ever.”

Tattoo? Daddy has a tattoo. Must be from his early, wilder days. Hardly fits in with his mild-mannered professional cubicle-dweller manifestation. Tattoo… Not one I’ve ever seen…

You will forgive me, I am sure, if I confess that I spent a libidinous minute or two imagining just where on all that luscious manliness the tattoo might be hidden.

But just for a minute.



October 14, 2010 - Posted by | Mischief, parents | , ,


  1. Oh gawd, I hate noticing that men are attractive, because then I can no longer make eye contact with them comfortably. I keep expecting them to hiss and cross their fingers at me, or possibly just spit on me.

    Boys bullied me in junior high and I still have issues.

    I’m so glad I have found love and don’t have to worry about dying alone and being found weeks later half-eaten by my own dog.

    You do have a flair for the images that stick! I’m so glad you found PH, too. It’s wonderful to find the Right One. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Though, like anyone else, I experienced a certain amount of schoolyard conflict with boys and girls, I was only actively bullied by two boys, one in grade four — Frank W, I still remember you — and one in grade nine. Though looking back, Jamie in grade nine was more sexual harassment, and the time I slapped him across the face in front of at least forty other kids put an end to that. (Not that I planned it in advance. I’d never have had the chutzpah. It was an entirely reflexive response to what he’d just said. But holy hannah, did it feel GOOD. Terrifying, but good.)

    By far the majority of my social woes in school, however, were caused by other girls; boys were, for me, generally safer. So me, I like men. In fact, it’s probably true that the majority of my friends today are men. But male clients? It’s simpler if they’re just ‘dads’.

    Comment by IfByYes | October 14, 2010 | Reply

  2. Yeah, I found myself flirting with a little league dad. Not so good. I’ve decided he’s best avoided from now on. His son isn’t as good looking as he is- makes you wonder what boys will improve with age and what ones will lose their sweet good looks when they hit puberty.

    I have a policy never to flirt with daycare dads… assuming I, you know, notice their fatal charms… Not, however, because it’s immoral, but because it’s unprofessional. Non-clients, however? To my way of thinking, flirting is a game, and if you both understand the rules (and have spouses who also understand) then there is nothing at all wrong with playing. In fact, I confess with no hesitation at all… it’s one of my very favourite games. ๐Ÿ™‚

    And yes, it is interesting to notice the children and the parents, and wonder where on the continuum the kids will fall. It can take quite a while! Even their teens don’t tell the full story, especially for the boys. I think you can’t know for sure until the girls are in their late teens/early twenties, and the boys almost a full decade later! It takes a while for the body to finish up, and the full attractive powers to emerge.

    Comment by Jill in Atlanta | October 14, 2010 | Reply

  3. Lol! Yep I have some handsome daddies! I don’t usually notice unless they are in “street clothes” rather than work attire. Then I sigh a little sigh and pinch Hubs butt on his way out the door!

    Hee. I have the exact same perspective: when I notice someone else, it’s always good news for my Wonderful Husband. Which is why he never objects to me noticing someone else! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Comment by Jess | October 14, 2010 | Reply

  4. There’s a dad at daycare (who is now also a dad at soccer) that I could look at all damn day. His son was in my son’s class, and now his daughter is in my daughter’s class. Someday my drooling is going to get messy, not to mention embarrassing. Until then, I will just enjoy the view.

    I like your attitude!

    Comment by ClumberKim | October 14, 2010 | Reply

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