Fashion Puppy

When the vet warned Emma that dogs of Romeo’s ilk don’t handle the cold well (Jan, you were right!), was she distressed? Worried? Dismayed?

She was NOT.

Emma loves to shop. Well, that’s not universally true. Groceries? Meh. Hardware stores (which I love!), video game stores, electronics stores? Equally indifferent. Book, card, and fabric stores are more interesting. But … accessories, clothes, and shoes? Those make her little fashionista heart go pitter-pat.

So. A dog that doesn’t deal well with cold? This is not a pathetic weakling dog. This is not a canine embarrassment to dogdom. A dog that doesn’t deal well with cold is a dog with FASHION NEEDS! Visions of so-cute coats and wee doggie sweaters danced before her eyes. Maybe she could even discover some well-chosen and tasteful doggie accessories! Who knows?? She and pup hastened forthwith down to the local upscale doggie boutique.

Where she discovered that, because he’s so small and all, he fits precisely ONE style of coat just yet. I imagine her disappointment was profound, but she took it well. One style of coat, so that’s what he got.

And isn’t it CUTE? A weeny little doggie parka! Complete with fur-trimmed hood! (Can I have a rousing “aaaaawwwww”?)

He’s supposed to wear boots, too. (Much as I am smitten with wee Romeo — and I am! — I admit my big-dog-loving heart rolls its eyes at this. (Yes, my heart has eyes.) Fondly, but still… Coat and boots? Eesh.)

Turns out that there are boots for ALL sizes of dog, from Extra-Large, down through Small, Extra-small, and ending at (brace yourself)… Itty Bitty.

Guess what?

His feet are too small for Itty Bitty boots…

So he has a few sets of these.

Yup. Little rubber booties for your pup.

“They look like balloons!” said Emily, delighted. Emily is five.

Emma has a slightly different take, for Emma is seventeen.

“Condoms. My dog wears condoms on his feet.”

Sure looks that way. But at least they’re dry and salt-free condoms balloons rubbers boots!