It’s Not All Mary Poppins

What to do…

A situation arises from time to time which, even after all these years, I am not entirely sure how to respond to. It doesn’t happen that often, but I’ve been doing this for long enough — over 22 years now — that I’ve run into this situation quite a number of times. Whatever option I consider, and there really only seem to be three, feels… odd. Hm. Maybe it’s only two options, one with two variants. I dunno.

I’ll put it to you, my dedicated readers. It’s the smaller segment of you male-type readers who will be most helpful on this one, I’m sure.

So… you open up a tiny boy’s diaper, and reveal an equally tiny, but quite determined little erection… and assuming it lasts through the diaper change and you’re about to package it up again…

What, exactly, do you do with it?

It seems to me that to pretend it’s not happening, and just flip the front of the diaper over top of it… well, I have to think that would be uncomfortable for the poor guy. I mean, I know I don’t have one of my own, but I’m not totally inexperienced with these things. I’ve seen guys making … adjustments (some of them less discreet than others, ahem). So it strikes me that if the grown-up version finds 90 degree contact with the BVD’s unpleasant, the teeny version probably does, too.

But, if it’s not a kindness to just slap the diaper down on top, what exactlyis required? Do you point it north (which, for some reason, strikes me as logical), or south? And if you’re going to make the adjustment for the boy… how? Because, though I’m perfectly comfortable scrubbing at those things with a diaper wipe, don’t give it a second’s thought, I confess that to handle them for any other purpose, no matter how kindly intentioned, makes me a bit squeamish.

I find myself working my way through this musing loop every time it happens, but to date I have never done anything but flop that diaper down over top. If it’s uncomfortable, the boy will just have to sort it out himself. One could reasonably argue that knowing how to adjust the junk is a Male Life Skill.

Rory? Rory has not yet learned this life skill. The poor lad just crossed the room in front of me, waddling bow-legged. Looking like he just spent the last three days astride a horse and hasn’t quite gotten his land legs back.

And I probably shouldn’t find it quite so amusing, should I?

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April 1, 2011 - Posted by | random and odd, Rory

10 Comments »

  1. This happened with both my boys though not frequently but at least somewhat regularly. Now how I would have reacted if the child was not my own I do not know. (I am, admittedly not very squeamish about little baby boy parts)

    My experience with the situation was that if I left it pointing up, I would be more likely to have to change the childs clothes as well next time he peed so I just held it down flat as I closed the diaper and that was that.

    blyger

    Comment by blyger | April 1, 2011 | Reply

  2. Well, here’s what I do (although I am curious what men would advise)…I basically think ahead to how I want the little thing to be once that erection works itself out. Normally, without the erection, I would point a penis down into the diaper to prevent them from peeing upward into the diaper and having it leak out the top. So, erection or not, I point it south. I figure it’ll work itself out shortly so even if it’s a little uncomfortable for the moment, it’ll be fine in a few minutes. It hasn’t really seemed to bother my son or the boys I’ve taken care of. So, that’s how I handle it! Good luck!

    Comment by Patti | April 1, 2011 | Reply

  3. lol Jude got into bed with me this morning and as he snuggled in I could feel his hand was covering the front of his pants, “whats the matter?” “not sure” he said “my willys hard, think I need to pee!” and off he ran to the bathroom, maybe I need to have a ‘talk’ with him about puberty…?

    Comment by jenny | April 1, 2011 | Reply

  4. For the record, I find it extremely unlikely that anything REALLY stumps you. Then I looked at the date and wondered if this was an April Fools prank.

    On the off-chance it is not, for what it is worth Darcy used to get it oriented south in those situations. Does not seem to have affected him negatively … yet 😉

    Comment by Darcy's Mom | April 1, 2011 | Reply

  5. Husband says to just point it north. And I typically do that, anyway. I’ve only had my kid pee out the top a couple times, and it hasn’t happened in over a year.

    Comment by MJ | April 4, 2011 | Reply

  6. Bwaahahahaha. I’ve had 2 boys. I’ve often wondered if I’m the only mother of an infant son who feels the need to say, “Don’t get too excited buddy, it’s just a diaper change.”

    FTR I always point it south and diaper. Because pointing north leads to pee going the wrong direction. They don’t ever seem to care or show any discomfort. But I wouldn’t know for sure, I’ve never asked.

    “…It’s only a diaper change.” Ha! I love it. I am so stealing that!

    Comment by carrien (she laughs at the days) | April 4, 2011 | Reply

  7. Well, I’m a long time lurker-hello! I read this the other day and wondered what I usually do (I’m a nanny of boys) and today I was changing a diaper without thinking much about it and got my answer; I point south without thought. I also got a data point for the question about discomfort when the Munchkin said “peenie owie.” He seemed unconcerned ten seconds later, however.

    You just never know what will bring the lurkers out… 😀 Point it south, huh? Maybe I’m just treating those things with too much delicacy. Still, I’ve never had any leaks caused by misalignment, so it’s more a matter of theoretical interest, really…

    Comment by Samantha | April 5, 2011 | Reply

  8. Oh, and on the question of how, I just slide the penis down with the last swipe of the wipe with one hand and put the diaper over it with the other.

    Duly noted!

    Comment by Samantha | April 5, 2011 | Reply

  9. I do not recall . . . I just put the diaper on regularly. I might alter that if I get a complaint or a wet shirt int he future.

    Comment by Greg | April 13, 2011 | Reply

  10. […] Yes, well, whatever. He’s not indulging in lengthy sessions of fondling re-arranging, so I’m pretty sure this is nothing more than him being persnickety. Heck, what do I know? I don’t have one. Maybe it really does require this sort of careful adjustment. […]

    Pingback by The boy needs a memory aid « It’s Not All Mary Poppins | June 24, 2011 | Reply


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