The things you hear yourself saying…
“Rory. We do not sit on people’s heads. Off, right now.”
“Please do not pick the baby’s nose.”
“Because she is a dog. People clean their bums with toilet paper.” (This, I hasten to clarify, was strictly a theoretical question. No one had actually tried to implement canine-style personal hygiene.)
“Rory! We certainly don’t BOUNCE on people’s heads.”
Those were mine for today. What were yours?