It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Stomping on imagination

Emily and Tyler sit on the dining room windowsill. Emily is making a bizarre, very fake, very falsetto giggle, repeated frenetically.


I cannot imagine the game that requires that as its sound track, and I don’t much care.

“Gah. Emily, please stop making that noise. It’s awful.”

“We are being pirates,” Tyler explains, matter-of-fact, “and window this is our boat.”

Under what circumstances, my adult mind wonders, would a pirate make that noise? Post-castration springs to mind, but he’d hardly be giggling about that. Pirate ships not being the most egalitarian of places, it’s unlikely they’ve hired a vacuous Valley Girl as one of the boys. Okay, so they’d undoubtedly have other uses for her, but she’d hardly be giggling about that, either…

Not that either of these things would occur to Emily and Tyler, of course. Not that it really matters, because “Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-EH-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-EH-EH-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-EH-eh-eh-Eh-EH-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh…” can’t continue.

“That’s fine, you can be pirates. But guys, I can guarantee you, pirates do NOT make that noise.”


There are just some things you don’t have to put up with, you know?

August 11, 2011 - Posted by | Emily, Tyler | , , , ,


  1. Reminds me of the high pitched squeaking noise the 4 yr old makes when he’s playing baby dinosaur. Or daddy & baby. Or baby anything, actually. “mew mew mew mew” etc., at a pitch so high the dog runs & hides. Some days I can block it out. Other days, I have to tell him no, the only time a baby animal sounds like that is if it’s caught in a snare.

    You have more tolerance for these noises than me, I suspect, because I don’t know that I can ever block it. Moreover, I’m cranky enough about noise to believe I shouldn’t have to block it. They can do that at home. Assuming their parents can stand it…

    Comment by hodgepodge | August 11, 2011 | Reply

  2. I won’t tolerate this stage well. I have a hatred of unnecessary noises that I can really only blame on growing up an only child in a quiet, introverted household. PH and I were watching a tennis match on tv yesterday, and one of the competitors drove me crazy.

    You know how most tennis players grunt or shout when they whack the ball? Well, this one went “wa-BOOM!” with every hit, except the “boom” part was in an extremely high register, and continued in a wavering tone until the ball hit the ground on the other side. So really it was



    It drove me BATTY. I was like “What the hell, why? WHY? NO OTHER TENNIS PLAYER FEELS THE NEED TO MAKE THAT NOISE.”

    Yeah, I won’t deal with the unnecessary noise stage well. At all.

    We are sisters of soul in this one. I loathe unnecessary noises, especially the high-pitched, loud, inane, ceaseless ones at which toddlers and pre-schoolers so excel. On a good day, I can provide them with an alternative, less insanity-provoking sound. On a bad day they just have to STOPPIT RIGHT NOW. But I can never tune them out. To me, they’re quite literally intolerable.

    Comment by IfByYes | August 11, 2011 | Reply

  3. I currently have a 9 month old who has discovered grinding her brand new teeth! Hate that noise! Anything else out of her would be better! I find myself constantly making other babbling noises at her hoping she’ll follow along. If not, I hand her a teether and hope that makes her stop!

    Oh, that sound. It has all the appealing qualities of fingernails down a chalkboard, with worry for their dental health thrown in. Ugh.

    Comment by Patti | August 11, 2011 | Reply

    • MY BABY DOES THIS TOO. I hate it hate it hate it. It gives me the shivers.

      Comment by IfByYes | August 11, 2011 | Reply

  4. I have the feeling that you might destroy Jeffrey. He loves noises. Making noises that only dogs should hear. He will stop though, and then asks “why? is it annoying?” Apparently that has been my reasoning far to often.
    Some days I’m amazed that the windows didn’t shatter from the high pitched crooning of the alphabet song. 🙂

    BTW the teeth grinding thing? My daughter did that. There is NOTHING that squeeved me out more. Ugh, just thinking about it….

    Comment by Dani | August 12, 2011 | Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: