It’s Not All Mary Poppins

Always wished…

I’d done something like this with my pregnancies.

Cute, huh? Did any of you commemorate/capture the progression of your pregnancy in some way?

March 13, 2012 Posted by | random and odd | 4 Comments

Menu Monday

Monday: Layered Meatloaf, Broccoli Gribiche

Tuesday: Wild Rice Casserole, lentil-beet salad

Wednesday: Chicken Cacciatore, biscuits

Thursday: Sesame noodles, carrot salad

Friday: Refrigerator Curry, rice

As always, if you want any of the recipes, I’m happy to provide them. The broccoli gribiche, sesame noodles, and wild rice casserole are all from Heidi Swanson‘s cookbook, super natural every day.

I’ve linked to Menu Plan Monday on OrgJunkie. (Which is one of my fave get-yourself-organized sites.)

March 12, 2012 Posted by | food | 1 Comment

Mystery of Mysteries

“My sock is wet.” Jazz holds a purple-clad foot ahead of her. I give it a feel. It’s not damp, it’s not even wet. It’s soaked.

“It certainly is! Did you step in some water?” I ask, as I peel it off her now-chilly foot.

“Yeah.”

“Where is the water?”

“There!” And she points to the wet sock in my hand. Yes, of course. They do this all the time, toddlers. A tot comes wailing, rubbing the bump on their head. Ask them where they bumped themselves, and what do they tell you?

Heeere!” (Text: On my head. (Subtext: Stupid.)) The question is largely pointless, and were it not for the fact that there’s obviously a puddle somewhere I need to wipe up, I wouldn’t bother asking. But somewhere there is a puddle, and I’d rather not find it by stepping in it myself. So despite the odds of failure, I try.

“I know your sock is wet, braniac. I want to know: where is the water on the floor?”

“It’s inna kitchen.”

Well, that’s helpfully specific. Also, likely. We wander out to the kitchen. I scan the room, tipping my head, hoping to spot the gleam of a puddle. Water is hard to spot.

“Do you remember where on the floor you stepped in the water?” Even as I wonder if she can sort out that tangled sentence, Jazz is trotting to the corner beside the fridge. Ha. Better and better.

“There!” she points. It’s a small space, so I should be able to spot it. Less than a metre square, and the only thing in it the dogs’ bowls. More scanning. And again.

“I dunno, Jazz. I don’t see any water.”

“Yes, it’s there!” And she moves a few steps over and points again. Toward the dogs’ bowls. Toward the dogs’ water bowl. There is no puddle. (I’m remarkably slow on the uptake this morning, I know.) I finally see the damning evidence: two or three small wet footprints. And the penny finally drops.

“Jazz. Did you step in the dogs’ water bowl?”

“Yeah…” Her tone is dubious. It’s suddenly struck her that perhaps this is on the list of Stuff We Don’t Do. (But the list is so long! And so arbitrary! We don’t step in the dogs’ water bowl?? I mean, WHO KNEW???)

I could ask her why. Why did you step in the water bowl, Jazz? Why? But though we adults yearn to know the answer to that perennial question, toddlers just don’t have the answer. Or don’t understand the question. Or simply don’t have a reason for doing this stuff. Why? Who knows? Because it was there. Because her foot was there. Because, suddenly, her foot was in the water — and then her sock was all icky-wet! (Because WHO KNEW that would happen???)

I wipe up the soggy footprints. We return to the living room to find her some dry socks.

And I close — and latch — the gate to the kitchen.

March 8, 2012 Posted by | Jazz | , , | 4 Comments

Poppy and the Poo

Poppy lies on the floor, ready for her diaper change.

“She gots a poo?” Jazz enquires, peering butt-ward. If she does, she’ll circle closer, to stare and comment. Rory and Grace arrive as soon as they know what’s up. The gather close, the crowd my elbows, the talk, talk, talk about the poo.

“She gots a poo!”
“Yeah, a poo!”
“She has a stinky poo on her bum!”
“A stinky poo-poo bum in her diaper!”
“Poppy has a poo, Rory?”
etc., etc.

The fascination never ends. (The conversation never gets any more interesting than that.)

What is the attraction? While I am rarely grossed out by a soiled diaper — goodness knows I’ve had years of de-sensitisation — I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have to be. But they gather round, forming a claustrophobic wall of prurient interest in the output of their friend.

Lovely.

These days, when I know I have a poo to deal with, before I’ve even lain the kid down on the floor, I send them to another room. “Okay, you poo-vultures. Go play in the kitchen.”

“Poppy gots a poo?” Jazz glances longingly at Poppy’s diapered butt.

“Yes, she does. Away you go. I’ll call you when I’m done.”

Seriously. I do this. You may find it silly. I would understand that. For years the poo-vulture habits of two-year-olds amused rather than disgruntled me. For years, I let the older kids hang around and chat about the poo before them, and I chortled at the weirdness. But these days, though I still find it quirkily funny, I can do without both the audience and the commentary, thankyousomuch. Maybe it’s my claustrophobia?

Anyway. I am used to toddlers being morbidly interested in shit. It’s weird, but it appears to be pretty much normal.

Poppy likes poo. Not anyone else’s, thank goodness. She is not the poo vulture that the older children are. No, Poppy likes her own. Normally this is not an issue. When I change her, I have to keep a sharp eye on her hands, knowing that, unfended-off, they might well dive in there and fondle the findings. (Urgh.) But that I can handle.

No, the real problem is nap-time. Two hours or more of quiet time, alone in a room. Should there be poo at some time during those two or more hours…

She does this at home, too. Her parents are revolted. Can’t imagine why. You open the door to your sweet snookums’ little bedroom, and are hit by a wall of stench. The pudgy fingers clutching the crib rail are smeared and brown. The diaper lies in a crumpled heap on the sheets, small brown footprints making a trail on the pink flannelette sheet. Urgh. There is not much to recommend it as A Parenting Experience.

Though she’s also shown remarkable dexterity here. I’ve walked into the room, hit the wall of stench … and seen clean, pink hands, clean, pink legs, a clean, pink sheet … and a diaper with its dollop of poo sitting neatly discarded in a corner. (No, she’s not ready for toilet-training. We’ve tried. Not.A.Clue. Dammit.)

I’ve seen any number of children with a revolting interest in finger-painting with feces, but never one as long-term as Poppy. Usually it’s something they get over reasonably quickly. Poppy’s been at it for six weeks now, and the interest shows no sign of fading.

She’s coordinated and strong, too, dammit. At first, our solution was to put her in overalls. She ripped them open.

Then we tried a onesie.

She can unsnap a onesie.

A onesie under snug tights.

She call pull the tights off.

Frankly, I think she was enjoying the challenge…

But! I have the solution! Well, not the solution-solution. Poppy just has to outgrow this one. But I have the solution to the shit-on-the-sheets problem. To the Poppy-Houdini problem. I’ve used it before, in fact. (Though not, I promise, like this.)

Duct tape.

Yup. Slap a strip of duct tape across the front of the diapers, covering both tabs, and that kid is in there for the duration. With a strong and coordinated Houdini like Poppy, the duct tape extends well around the sides.

(And see? It comes in lots of designer colours and patterns these days! The red plaid was courtesy of Poppy’s parents. My roll here is bright blue.)

Yes, it does require scissors to get her out of there, so it’s a little inconvenient. But SO WORTH IT! Three weeks, and the little monkey has yet to defeat the duct tape. Take THAT! Mary and Duct Tape for the win!

Mwah-ha.

March 7, 2012 Posted by | eeewww, Mischief, Poppy | , , | 9 Comments

Menu Monday, a day late

Monday: Quinoa Casserole. In fact, this was the stuffing for the stuffed green peppers my family had Sunday night, only I made so much there was ample to put in a small baking dish, top it with spaghetti sauce and cheese, and call it a casserole.

Tuesday: Meatloaf, cooked carrots, rice pilaf

Wednesday: Hoisin-salad rolls, corn niblets

Thursday: Vegetable-cheese tart

Friday: Enchilada Bake

March 6, 2012 Posted by | food | , , | 2 Comments

Ouch.

One aged root canal became one cracked tooth, which led to two abscesses, requiring one extraction, which took two hours and came out in four separate pieces. Scurried home without filling my prescription for Tylenol 3’s, because I was already making Emma late for class.

That might prove to have been a mistake…

My mouth hurts like heck, and yes, I am working, but no, I don’t really feel like blogging.

Ugh.

March 5, 2012 Posted by | health and safety | | 7 Comments

He’s such a good sport

BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!

“Matthew!” Grace greets my husband, who is coming down the stairs.

BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!! BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!

“Matthew, we are running!”

BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!
BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!
BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!

Matthew’s eyes grow round with astonishment.

BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!
BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!
BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!

“You ARE???”

BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!
BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!
BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!

Grace is delighted. “YES!” And thunders around the corner for the next loop.

BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!
BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!
BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!
BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!
BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!
BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!
BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!
BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!
BAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMbamBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM BAM!!!!

March 1, 2012 Posted by | Grace, Mischief | | 2 Comments