Toddlers and toilets

Hannah‘s tale of toilet woe reminded me of this very old family story. Which I will share with you for your amusement.

Years ago, my aunt was working downstairs in her kitchen when she realized two things:

1. She hadn’t seen her two-year-old son in a while and
2. She could hear water running.

Whee! Aren’t toddlers exciting??? What a rush! Pure adrenaline.

She sprinted upstairs. As you do when your two-year-old is AWOL and there’s water running.

And she found him,

in the bathroom…

naked…

and sitting…

IN…

the toilet bowl.

Yup.

The running water? He was reaching up to flush the toilet, repeatedly.

Yup. The boy was flushing himself.

What was he doing??? you might reasonably wonder. Certainly his mother did. He was happy to answer! Gleeful, proud of his wee self for thinking this one up.

“I’m having a shower in the toilet, mummy!!”

Ba-dum-pum.

I suspect he shortly thereafter had a bath in the tub.

But really? This is a tale of encouragement and support. Really! Because this two-year-old is now thirty-something. A thirty-something who, I am quite sure, takes his own showers — in an actual shower!!! So hang in there, you frazzled parents. It does get better!

Eventually.

A story to lift your Monday spirits

A True Story.

A family has all come down with some sort of stomach bug. They’re losing stuff from the top, they’re losing stuff from the bottom, they’re just plain old losing it. Everyone: mom, dad, the 7-year-old, the 4-year-old, the 3-year-old.

Dad is the unfortunate focus of today’s little story. Dad, as he sits yet again in the highly-trafficked bathroom, letting his unhappy innards do their revolting thing.

His three-year-old bombs into the bathroom. Stops. Stares at dad for a shocked, disoriented second, and then…

you know what’s coming, don’t you?

…puked into dad’s lap.

Aren’t you glad it wasn’t you?