It’s a sign of mental health …
… to take pleasure in small things. Witness the following example of my robust mental health:
Timmy walks by. A nasty huge green fog follows him.
The diaper reveals a small marble of poo. How something so small can pollute an entire room is beyond me, but Timmy’s little marbles are the atom bomb of stench.
Half hour later, another noisome marble.
Half hour after that, another.
At this rate, the boy is going to befoul the air quality through the entire rest of the day. I can already see a faint greeny-brown miasma clinging to the walls. The atomic bomb stench is close to becoming visible. Something must be done before we all keel over from lack of oxygen.
I offer him a quarter cup of prune juice. He’s dubious (and who can blame him? loathesome stuff, it is) but with a certain amount of coaxing, it goes down.
And I wait. Half an hour later, another noxious marble. And half an hour after that —
A HUGE poo.
And half an hour after that? Nothing. No marbles, no toots, no nothing. Fresh air regains its hold over the house.
I love prune juice.
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It's Not All Mary Poppins 
There is a joke in there somewhere about clearing out passages both bowel and nasal…
Good call, Mary.
And the ever-resourceful MaryP rescues everyone, but especially herself, from The Great Stink Bomb. Your descriptions are vivid, and hilarious. Maybe those skunk “kittens” whose pictures are wandering around the Internet wouldn’t be so bad after all, comparatively speaking…
Bahahahaha. Amazing how you can capture these moments in such a relatable way!
Have you asked his parents, “What are you feeding him”?
I’m not sure my kids would drink prune juice, but they both LOVE prunes. I have to make sure they don’t eat too many!
Kittenpie: I’m not sure if my nasal passages were cleared, or if they were roiling backwards into my brain in rebellion.
Florinda: It takes a deft hand to write “vivid” descriptions of this subject without being vulgar and revolting your readership. Though I know it’s entirely possible there’s a whole invisible audience who took one glance and wandered away, revolted… But since they never comment anyway, WHO CARES?
Sheri: NOT ENOUGH FIBRE, that’s for damned sure!
Katherine: Well, you’ll never suffer this particular ailment then, you lucky woman. Your comment reminds me of the time when, innocent young mother that I was, I let my eldest (then about 20 months) eat a regrettably large amount of dried apricots. We were on a bus ride that was far longer than anticipated, and I was keeping her happy and quiet, don’t you know, half an apricot at a time.
Oh. My. LORD … the diapers were astounding. Just astounding. And her poor sore bottom! Lesson learned for THIS mama!
I think my daughter and Timmy must be long-lost cousins. Never saw the “marbles” with my son so they shocked me, especially since I did not know the level of stink does not equal volume. Alas, though I thought adding fiber to my diet would help, my doctor enlightened me that despite my other superpowers, I cannot, in fact, send fiber shooting from my nipples.
*Laughing so had I am crying!*
I have to convince my son to eat a “monster raisin” every few days or so, too! The individually wrapped ones go down pretty easily!
*still laughing- I might need to get a tissue*
Thanks Mary!
I think I might try this as part of my effort to get the toddler pooing in the toilet (rather than the nappy). So far, all attempts at bribery have failed.
lol, prune juice is amazing stuff, dumpling loves it but it goes through him SO fast!
Have you seen that episode of two and a half men where jake is grumpy? Thye take him to a shrink, everything, in the end the housekeeper gives him prune juice and that ended the problem!
LOL! Our new son was not “going” after coming home from the hospital. After a few days, the pediatrician suggested a glucose suppository.
It worked but I’m sure that Joshua would have MUCH preferred prune juice!!!
Jeffrey was on a prune juice regimen for a few weeks after coming home from the hospital. You have no idea how happy we were for that to end!
Jeffrey was on a prune juice regimen for a few weeks after coming home from the hospital. You have no idea how happy we were for that to end!
Ha! Funniest punchline I’ve ever heard that included the words “prune juice.”
BTW, do you have a sound effect that goes with this story? I can hear it now…
Hmm…I wonder if that’s why I can’t stand dried apricots…
Haley: Must be, because you sure loved them when you were a toddler!