It’s Not All Mary Poppins

It’s a Stand-Off

How I love this ad! This picture is speaking its thousand words, and I’ve had such fun speculating on what mom’s might be:

“Oh, you little sh*t.”

or,

“This. Means. War.”

or,

“I love my baby. I love my baby. I love my baby. I will not kill this child.”

or…?

(Click on the image to enlarge.)

August 19, 2005 - Posted by | eeewww, food, memes and quizzes, Mischief, parenting

21 Comments »

  1. “If you don’t open up and eat this I’m going to rip your lungs out.”

    orrr…

    “I do love you, but when your dad gets home I’m kicking him in the crotch.
    Can you say crotch?”

    Comment by kimmyk | August 19, 2005 | Reply

  2. ‘WHERE IS THAT VODKA???’

    Or maybe that’s just me . . .

    Comment by Susan | August 19, 2005 | Reply

  3. “Son of a b****…oh, wait, that’s me…”

    “I did NOT go through 26 hours of labor and an emergency c-section to take THIS crap, young man.”

    Comment by misfit | August 19, 2005 | Reply

  4. Kimmyk: after this, daddy isn’t ever coming near me with a ten-foot pole, much less anything shorter…

    Susan: see the OJ in the sippy cup? That’s really a vodka and orange, cleverly disguised – and it’s for her, not him.

    Misfit: Yup, you can’t call your own kids that, can you? “Son of a b**** – and it’s YOUR fault, kid!”

    That second one will last you your entire life. The everlasting and all-application “You owe me”.

    Comment by Mary P. | August 19, 2005 | Reply

  5. Ha, cute!

    How about:

    “Kid, that ain’t the only orifice I can shove this spoon in. Now sit down, shut up, and eat!”

    Comment by ieatcrayonz | August 19, 2005 | Reply

  6. I have a feeling this particular woman is saying: “It’s a darn good thing I’m getting paid to do this.”

    An actual mother would more likely say: “That’s it, from now on you’re bathing yourself, you rotten filthy little…”

    Comment by Haley | August 19, 2005 | Reply

  7. Where’s the benadryl? It’s nap time.

    At our house it would be… where’s the dog… the dog will clean this up.

    Comment by Homestead | August 19, 2005 | Reply

  8. Okay, but honestly, people, who wears a WHITE SHIRT to feed a baby? And I swear those jeans are so tight she can hardly move.

    God I love advertising . . .

    Now where’s MY vodka sippy cup?

    Comment by Susan | August 19, 2005 | Reply

  9. Crayonz: oooowooo…threatening his orifices, yet. Remind me never to spray my beer out my nose in YOUR direction.

    Haley: if she’s paid, she’s thinking “I don’t get paid nearly enough to take this crap, you little cretin.”

    Homestead: Benadryl puts them to sleep? I didn’t know that! File that infobit away for future reference!

    I can’t imagine Ms. White Shirt in her White Kitchen would allow a hairy animal in her house. (Makes ya wanna speculate about the male progenitor a bit.)

    Susan: Do you remember the ad that showed a new mother with perfectly coiffed hair into which was woven a sweet blue ribbon, holding her NAKED newborn against her PURE WHITE cotton nightie? Who comes up with this stuff? I have no idea what product was being advertised: I could never get past the ludicracy (is that a word?) of the setup.

    To everyone:
    Well, ladies. Doesn’t it feel gooood to let off some of the frustrations of motherhood in a safe and supportive environment?!?

    Comment by Mary P. | August 19, 2005 | Reply

  10. (arriving late on the scene…as usual). Actually I paid baby in yellow to carrot/squash her. Her thighs are just too damn skinny. I’m with Susan on this one πŸ˜‰

    Comment by Heather | August 20, 2005 | Reply

  11. I was envious of the length of those legs. But I have better breasts… πŸ™‚

    Comment by Mary P. | August 20, 2005 | Reply

  12. Thanks, Mary! I love the ad.
    And of course, it is a marketing tool.
    Otherwise:
    NO WAY that bright white kitchen would still be that clean!
    That is a paid model wearing the skin-tight jeans and stained shirt—real mothers do wear her expression but they can’t wear those jeans.
    (Susan–of course she can’t move. See the way she’s “sitting?” Someone helped position her there and she’ll need help up!!!)

    Comment by LoryKC | August 20, 2005 | Reply

  13. I have occasionally been so behind on th washing that I’ve worn white to feed the baby. The real thought that goes through your head is:

    Thank god for washing machines. I’m so glad I live in the 21st century.

    I have also been known to feed naked babies in just my underwear (not an image to think about too long..). In these cases you think: I love central heating & hot water on demand. You are so going to be dunked in a minute!

    Comment by Mrs.Aginoth | August 21, 2005 | Reply

  14. Washing machines and dryers and bleach and permanent press! Great, isn’t it??

    I wouldn’t have dared to feed my babies when naked: they all tended to lose it out the bottom end as they received it in the top. Now there’s an image not to dwell upon!! (I rather suspect that Mr. Aginoth might disagree with your evaluation of the merits of your occasional feeding attire…) πŸ™‚

    Comment by Mary P. | August 21, 2005 | Reply

  15. Bringing the dad’s perspective here, if they didn’t want to eat, I let them get hungry. I never fought with the princesses over food.

    At any given point there’s something they will willingly eat, so they get that. Princess number two is still into cottage cheese big time, so she eats a ton of that stuff. No fights. πŸ™‚

    Comment by Simon P. Chappell | August 21, 2005 | Reply

  16. Mary P said: “I was envious of the length of those legs. But I have better breasts… :-)”

    I presume your talking about mom and not baby :-p

    Comment by Si | August 22, 2005 | Reply

  17. Hey, just thought. You only have 9 days of your holiday left.

    Comment by Si | August 22, 2005 | Reply

  18. Si: Clever fellow. Got it in one!

    Thanks for the timely reminder. Me, I’m trying not to think about it. Savour every moment, that’s my motto!

    Comment by Mary P. | August 22, 2005 | Reply

  19. Wait. Let me qualify my comment. Benadryl knocks out SOME kids… others just get hyper when they take it…. Dimenapp (I mean Dimetapp) seems to do the trick for most….. not that I would ever drug my child…no, not me… unless I was taking him on a commercial flight or something…. um, no, I mean…. um.

    And might I add…. what mom wears a shirt that needs to be pressed?

    And is that shabby-chic table a lead-based paint concern? hee-hee.

    Comment by Homestead | August 22, 2005 | Reply

  20. Baby was following Mommy’s example …

    The kitchen decor is white with splashes of orange.

    Comment by snaars | August 25, 2005 | Reply

  21. Homestead: There’s a story in my ex-husband’s family about how they put a shot of brandy in baby’s bottle (this particular baby being my ex’s father) to deal with his sleepless crankiness, and the poor little tyke slept for 15 hours straight. They were afraid they’d killed, or at least comatose’d him.

    As a new mother, listening to that story, it had a certain illicit appeal, I must admit. “15 hours, you say?? And, look, he’s just fine now, isn’t he???” Course, he’s also only five foot four…

    Snaars: Hey, you’re right! And look at that table: mommy clearly goes for the “distressed” look. Now mommy’s distressed, too!!

    Comment by Mary P. | August 25, 2005 | Reply


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